Four bags of Oreos

Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.

I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??

Replies

SezxyStef wrote: »

brazilpaul wrote: »

My suggestion is to do what my wife did to me to get me kickstarted on changing my eating habits. Take the bags of oreos, and ice cream, and put them in the garbage. I wasn't mad, I was surprised at first, but I did find other things to begin snacking on. If that stuff was in my house, I confess I would eat it. If its not in the house, it's so much easier to eliminate from your diet and change your habits. Take it upon yourself to ensure healthier snacks are always available and if he legitimately wants to change his habits, he will.

If I did that to my husband he would not be impressed not just because his snacks are gone but because I just took about 50$ (yes we have that much snack food in our house if not more) and burned it...what a waste...

I don't get this trying to control other adults...I mean I am a control freak and would never consider doing any of these things...

I'm a control freak too and yet, I'd never cross the line and treat my husband this way. I have too much respect for him as an individual.

That's the bottom line. There are respectful ways to deal with troublesome issues. Some of the suggestions in this thread are born from people's personal issues with the food being mentioned, not from a place of respect that should be between partners in a loving relationship.

Carnivor0us wrote: »

SLLRunner wrote: »

brwelch1 wrote: »

Maybe he wants to fit them into his calorie goals?

MrM27 wrote: »

Maybe they were on sale and he saw a deal he couldn't pass up?

These ^^^^.

You can lose weight eating whatever you want as long as you stay within your calorie goals. If you don't want that big bag of peanut butter cups, I have room in my cabinet.

No, not this. He's got a medical condition that does not allow eating those items regularly. Life isn't fair.

I stand corrected and you're right, diabetes does change the picture, but, it's still moderation--tight moderation of carbs in order to manage his diabetes.

I have diabetic friends and family members who have limited amounts of carbs, which sometimes include sweets, and they keep their blood sugar under control. That's the health issue part of it. For weight loss, though, it's calories in/calories out.

That said, I would think it's a dangerous slope for a diabetic to buy such an abundance of carby sweet gooey good stuff.

Finally, the OP's issue sounds like it's more that he didn't stick to his agreement than anything. OP, I'd be talking to my husband about this and clarifying the agreement and establishing some clear boundaries for yourself around it. You have every right to say something to him because (1) he's not sticking to your agreed upon plan and (2) you are concerned about his health. However, keep in mind you can't change him and he's going to make the ultimate decision regarding his health management. You just have to take care of you.

Chrysalid2014 wrote: »

Oshun64 wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

APeacefulWarrior wrote: »

Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.

I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??

2 oreos is around 100 calories

I fail to see the issue

The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.

Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.

This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.

SLLRunner wrote: »

Chrysalid2014 wrote: »

Oshun64 wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

APeacefulWarrior wrote: »

Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.

I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??

2 oreos is around 100 calories

I fail to see the issue

The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.

Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.

This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.

She's_right_you_know_meme.jpg

I've lost 80 pounds. I keep bringing home cookies, chocolate and ice cream. I just have them in moderation (the kids help though or I'd definitely bring home less cookies as there's no way I can eat a whole box before it gets stale).

I see your point though, my husband is always eating junk even though he's obese and has high blood pressure, and I really wish he would watch his diet. He did lose 10 pounds last year but regained it all since...

Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.

As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.

Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.

Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.

I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

APeacefulWarrior wrote: »

Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.

As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.

Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.

Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.

I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...

sorry that is a huge NO and is smack in the face to people with real drug addictions like heroin and crack cocaine...

APeacefulWarrior wrote: »

Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.

As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.

Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.

Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.

I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...

OP, I do just want to say that my heart does go out to you with how incredibly hard this must be for you to watch happen. I can understand that you'd feel helpless, and even understand wanting to DO something.

It's a tough situation watching someone who NEEDS to change who won't do it.

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

I stopped reading at Ludwig....

I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...

http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/

also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???

Wait, you said he's diabetic and he brought home all that stuff? Yeah, I'd stage an intervention or something.

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

That isn't an article, it's a blog post based on quotes from those known to have a history of hyperbole about added sugar (like Lustig, who says sugar is "toxic" unless it's in fruit).

I would handle that situation by not eating everything in one sitting. If he wants to eat those things, whether they fit into his calorie deficit or not, that's his business. It doesn't mean you have to eat it if it doesn't fit into your calorie goals. Only he can decide when he wants to make the effort to drop the weight, if ever.

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

Ludwig AND Lustig.

Fructose pseudo-science meets GI nonsense. Cataclysm of nonsense blog post ensues.

In to find later.

OT: My hubby has similar medical issues that I have - HBP, high cholesterol - but he also has arthritis which would be helped somewhat with weight loss. I've suggested food tracking which he tried, but didn't make it beyond week 2 of entering everything before giving up. Hubby's the type of person who hates being pushed, shoved, guilt-tripped, and nagged into doing things. He'll go goat-mode stubborn and refuse. I do what I can without being a giant PITA. I portion out his snacks and keep his chips on top of the fridge so he has to decide if getting up and walking to the kitchen is worth a snack. He eats what I cook except at work. I can't do anymore for him than what I am. He'll either get to the point where he's ready or he'll keep complaining about his arthritis pain and how he can't tie his shoes properly without having acid reflux because his big gut is in the way.

I'd go the talking route with your hubby. Maybe get him to slow down on the sweets (4 Oreos is better than 8; it's progress). To me, your story is saying he doesn't care about himself and just wants to eat what he wants even if it puts him in the hospital.

ndj1979 wrote: »

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

I stopped reading at Ludwig....

I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...

http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/

also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???

Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”

@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.

My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.

I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.

I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.

Chrysalid2014 wrote: »

ndj1979 wrote: »

kimondo666 wrote: »

Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.

i fail to see the correlation between a sweet tooth and eating raw foods…..

Er... raw fruit is sweet..(?)

ndj1979 wrote: »

and source of sugar does not matter...

I read something yesterday about why fruit sugar is "better" than added sugar in other carbohydrate-loaded foods. Apparently the digestion of sugar requires certain micronutrients that are also delivered in fresh fruit. However, if you eat (for example) a candy bar, it doesn't contain any of the vitamins required to digest it, so essentially by eating the candy bar you're dipping into (depleting) your reserve of micronutrients.

So, the logic that you can get your day's nutrition and then spend any 'leftover' calories on junk without detriment to your health is somewhat flawed...

Vitamins required for digestion? Depletion of micronutrients for digestion? More than an entirely negligible amount?

:huh:

Are you sure about that? I'm not entirely certain the flawed logic is on the pro-"no bonus points for excess nutrition" side.

freeoscar wrote: »

ndj1979 wrote: »

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

I stopped reading at Ludwig....

I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...

http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/

also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???

Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”

Why?

freeoscar wrote: »

ndj1979 wrote: »

freeoscar wrote: »

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0

Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.

I stopped reading at Ludwig....

I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...

http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/

also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???

Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”

why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...

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