Mentally preparing yourself to maintain
I'm having a hard time believing it's ok for me to maintain at my current size. A month or so ago, I decided I wanted to and would move into it (not hard because I've always been someone who had maintenance days on a regular basis). I love to eat so finding the calories isn't the hard part. I'm having trouble not thinking I could lose a little more fat and get leaner. So I'll have a maintenance day and then I'll turn around and eat at a deficit. Not a huge deficit. Maybe tdee-10%. It doesn't help that I'm having trouble finding maintenance. I'm just guessing at this point because I can't hold a number steady to even know. So mixing maintenance days with small deficit days, I don't even know what the point of what I'm doing is. And with the way I've been eating out late, I'm just taking wild guesses at what I maintain at. I need to decide what the heck I'm doing. Maintaining or still trying to lose?
I'm digressing a little through. How did you get to the point mentally where you felt it was time to maintain? If I mentally feel like I have more fat to lose, should I just continue to lose until I get to the place I feel comfortable? I'm at a perfectly healthy weight. Clothes are at the size I want them to be. I feel like I look lean for the most part. But it's this damn fat on my stomach I want to get rid of and I know the way to do it is a deficit.
It doesn't help that I haven't tested my body fat percentage lately. I got a bodpod 10 pounds ago and the results very incredibly disheartening. It said 31% at 5'2" 128. I think it was inaccurate because I really can't see how it was that high. But have kept that number as a possibility. So if that was accurate and I've lost 10 pounds, assuming I some how managed to not lose any muscle with lifting, at best I'm looking at 26%. That's room to lose.
I'm just very conflicted about what to do. I know I'm my biggest critic. I think it also doesn't help that I'm somewhat curvier for my height and weight. So I have a tendency to look stubby. Maybe I should just try to do another body fat percentage test. Just worried I'll hate the results lol. I know the advice I would give myself is just to maintain and keep going strong with workouts but I just feel off about it when I still have fat I want to lose.