Unsupportive Sister

So my sister is one of those people where unless you do something her way its not a good method at all. Yesterday, I mentioned that I started this a few days ago and couldn't eat a whole lot because I only had so many calories to last me dinner and an evening snack. So she responds with "wanna know my advice? Don't count calories." I responded with "This plan is better than I have been doing and it makes me aware of what a portion actually is and although its only been a few days its made me more aware of what I eat and how much I eat." Then she looks at me with a look that says "is that the best argument you can come up with?"

I know I can't change her mind but is there anything anyone else would say to someone not supportive of this method of trying to lose weight?

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I would ignore her to be honest. Do your thing, make your progress and maybe she'll see that what you're doing works for YOU and that she should just, I dunno shut up.

Results are the best answer, lol. When she asks you to eat something off your planned intake, just smile & say, "No thanks, I don't feel like any right now." What can she say to that? Then change the subject, don't feed into her approval/disapproval mentality.

Don't discuss it with her. From my personal experience, people who are disparaging of this method rarely change their mind.

What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.

That look could have been because she had no comeback. I think that is a pretty good response. You could add "I am doing this to feel better about myself". You may not be able to change her opinion, but hopefully she will learn that you are doing this and her unsupportive remarks won't change it...and when she sees it working, maybe make her a little jealous

Lourdesong wrote: »

What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.

She didn't give me her argument because she was too busy looking disapprovingly at me when my younger sister (who also uses my fitness pal and know how awful my sister can get) stepped in and changed the conversation and it was dropped (at least for now).

Lourdesong wrote: »

What was her argument for her position? Make her regurgitate whatever the latest buzzwords/fads/diets areand defend her assertions.

FIFY

Learn how to cope with disapproving looks.

You have got the flaw of expecting anything from her at all. Remove her from your strategy, suppprt yourself and that should be enough. Energy spent on trying to persuade or worrying about what others might think is wasted and could be better used on making sure your diet is effective.

K_saine wrote: »

Lourdesong wrote: »

What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.

She didn't give me her argument because she was too busy looking disapprovingly at me when my younger sister (who also uses my fitness pal and know how awful my sister can get) stepped in and changed the conversation and it was dropped (at least for now).

The point is that you don't have to be tasked with defending yourself when she put herself out there to be tasked with defending herself.

She offered her opinion, from there it's her who should defend her opinion, not you. If you make her opinions come with the condition of her having a job to do (the task of defending it) she may be reluctant to give her opinions in the future.

canadjineh wrote: »

Results are the best answer, lol. When she asks you to eat something off your planned intake, just smile & say, "No thanks, I don't feel like any right now." What can she say to that? Then change the subject, don't feed into her approval/disapproval mentality.

THIS

This is what I've been doing. My family is filled with garbage 'nutritional advice' they've read off Facebook. My mother almost laid a brick when I told her I was thinking about running; she firmly believes I'd wind up in a wheelchair because my knees would blow out. So I started running and just never told her.

Weight loss is simple Calories In - Calories Out, if you don't know what you are putting into your body how can you possibly know that you are running at a calorie deficite?

She won't change her mind. All you can do is use her nay saying as motivation to prove her wrong, take pride in yourself, and make yourself feel good.

My sister yelled at me because I don't eat breakfast. "You need fuel in your tank!" I lost 30 pounds skipping breakfast...clearly I did it wrong. I ignored her

You can't convince someone who thinks they've got it all figured out.

My best response is just to say something like, "Noted. Thanks." And then just do my own thing.

Results really are the best answer - don't explain your choices, just do your thing.

She's your sister, tell her she can piss off. You don't need her approval and it sounds like you're on the right track anyway

I've learned to ignore what other people think. I do what I know is best for me.

Uh, tell her to go *kitten* herself? Seriously, she's your sister, why the hell does it matter what she thinks?

In my opinion (because clearly you need someone else's opinion shoved down your throat

) every one is different and different things work for different people. If counting calories works for you then brilliant. If it doesn't work for your sister but she's getting results then that's also great. But there's no point in following any eating plan that doesn't work for you and you alone. Good luck, keep going and just nod and smile at her.

UltimateRBF wrote: »

She's your sister, tell her she can piss off. You don't need her approval and it sounds like you're on the right track anyway

LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »

Uh, tell her to go *kitten* herself? Seriously, she's your sister, why the hell does it matter what she thinks?

Exactly my thoughts.

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