wretchedeinstein wrote: » Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
wretchedeinstein wrote: » jemhh wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » ninerbuff wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Or go out and buy something else. Not unusual for men to do rather than argue. The standoff approach rarely works when it comes to food.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition Then they're free to do so, IMHO. I work long hours, i'm active in my job. And I come home and cook. Generally, BF is satisfied with what I make, so I don't have that issue. But, were than an issue, i'd point him to the bread and sandwich meats. Per her profile, she travels with her boyfriend. My guess is she's not out working long hours and her job is to take care of the family, meaning cook for her bf along with his dad and uncle. It's completely reasonable for them to expect her to make them food they like/want. Thank you for paying attention lol. I do not work. The guys work 12 hours/day at the moment, but they will be working 16 hours/day pretty soon. The do this for months at a time with no off days. I don't feel like I have to do anything, I do this for them because they work hard. My bf's dad and uncle do not travel with their wives. His dad and uncle give me $100/each, each week to get groceries. My cooking for them isn't the problem I have. It's cooking for them, and change my eating habits. I'm not trying to change theirs. I don't "owe" them anything, I do it out of the kindness of my heart. Someone suggested a food scale, do those really help? When I calorie counted before, a few years ago, I was single. I ate frozen "health" entrees, things like that. Anything that had calories on the label was easy. But it's hard to measure calories for something you've cooked. Does that make sense?
jemhh wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » ninerbuff wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Or go out and buy something else. Not unusual for men to do rather than argue. The standoff approach rarely works when it comes to food.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition Then they're free to do so, IMHO. I work long hours, i'm active in my job. And I come home and cook. Generally, BF is satisfied with what I make, so I don't have that issue. But, were than an issue, i'd point him to the bread and sandwich meats. Per her profile, she travels with her boyfriend. My guess is she's not out working long hours and her job is to take care of the family, meaning cook for her bf along with his dad and uncle. It's completely reasonable for them to expect her to make them food they like/want.
hollyrayburn wrote: » ninerbuff wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Or go out and buy something else. Not unusual for men to do rather than argue. The standoff approach rarely works when it comes to food.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition Then they're free to do so, IMHO. I work long hours, i'm active in my job. And I come home and cook. Generally, BF is satisfied with what I make, so I don't have that issue. But, were than an issue, i'd point him to the bread and sandwich meats.
ninerbuff wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Or go out and buy something else. Not unusual for men to do rather than argue. The standoff approach rarely works when it comes to food.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves.
wretchedeinstein wrote: » mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » Scenario. If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though. mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time. I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling. LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza. If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing! I do see your point, however, OP did make the point that she is the cook for all these people. We could, of course, take it a step further, and ask if she works, who shops, etc. That would provide the bigger picture. Assuming does get us nowhere. Yeah, and I haven't noticed that she's come back yet. Perhaps just quietly stalking our somewhat heated responses, lol. Again, the above was simply my opinion, and my life. There's plenty of suggestions in the thread! my SO has bee out of town; it's time like this that I save my tofu or sushi or avocado based meals, since he doesn't care for those. I'm really not munching on tuna and screaming at him to make his own food. But the time he said he preffered my spaghetti with beef instead of turkey, I mentioned that we have a ton of sandwich makings. lol.... I slipped turkey into several things I make and it turns out my hubs likes them just as much or better with the turkey, so we've made the switch. I will admit there have been times I've made the offer for him to find something that suits him if he doesn't like what I took out of the freezer for the evening. lolol. I've tried that whole turkey switcharoo thing. It didn't work.
mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » Scenario. If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though. mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time. I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling. LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza. If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing! I do see your point, however, OP did make the point that she is the cook for all these people. We could, of course, take it a step further, and ask if she works, who shops, etc. That would provide the bigger picture. Assuming does get us nowhere. Yeah, and I haven't noticed that she's come back yet. Perhaps just quietly stalking our somewhat heated responses, lol. Again, the above was simply my opinion, and my life. There's plenty of suggestions in the thread! my SO has bee out of town; it's time like this that I save my tofu or sushi or avocado based meals, since he doesn't care for those. I'm really not munching on tuna and screaming at him to make his own food. But the time he said he preffered my spaghetti with beef instead of turkey, I mentioned that we have a ton of sandwich makings. lol.... I slipped turkey into several things I make and it turns out my hubs likes them just as much or better with the turkey, so we've made the switch. I will admit there have been times I've made the offer for him to find something that suits him if he doesn't like what I took out of the freezer for the evening.
hollyrayburn wrote: » mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » Scenario. If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though. mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time. I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling. LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza. If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing! I do see your point, however, OP did make the point that she is the cook for all these people. We could, of course, take it a step further, and ask if she works, who shops, etc. That would provide the bigger picture. Assuming does get us nowhere. Yeah, and I haven't noticed that she's come back yet. Perhaps just quietly stalking our somewhat heated responses, lol. Again, the above was simply my opinion, and my life. There's plenty of suggestions in the thread! my SO has bee out of town; it's time like this that I save my tofu or sushi or avocado based meals, since he doesn't care for those. I'm really not munching on tuna and screaming at him to make his own food. But the time he said he preffered my spaghetti with beef instead of turkey, I mentioned that we have a ton of sandwich makings.
mccindy72 wrote: » hollyrayburn wrote: » Scenario. If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though. mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time. I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling. LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza. If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing! I do see your point, however, OP did make the point that she is the cook for all these people. We could, of course, take it a step further, and ask if she works, who shops, etc. That would provide the bigger picture. Assuming does get us nowhere.
hollyrayburn wrote: » Scenario. If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though. mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time. I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling. LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza. If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing!
mccindy72 wrote: » marilandica wrote: » Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves. Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time.
mccindy72 wrote: » wretchedeinstein wrote: » Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me? Why? Just do smaller portions of meat, you need the protein. The only reason people go vegan is for beliefs or if they can't eat meat for some reason. Or don't like it.
ninerbuff wrote: » Pu_239 wrote: » This is how i'd deal with it. I'd make the food i want and i'd say "this is what i made for dinner." If someone says, "i don't want that" i'd use the same line my grandma used to tell me, "well don't eat." That works with kids. Adults have money and will go out and buy something else to eat and more than likely have animosity created between each other at dinner time. The OP is trying to lose weight, not the others. No reason to insist putting them on the same "health kick" as the others.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Pu_239 wrote: » This is how i'd deal with it. I'd make the food i want and i'd say "this is what i made for dinner." If someone says, "i don't want that" i'd use the same line my grandma used to tell me, "well don't eat."
Pu_239 wrote: » ninerbuff wrote: » Pu_239 wrote: » This is how i'd deal with it. I'd make the food i want and i'd say "this is what i made for dinner." If someone says, "i don't want that" i'd use the same line my grandma used to tell me, "well don't eat." That works with kids. Adults have money and will go out and buy something else to eat and more than likely have animosity created between each other at dinner time. The OP is trying to lose weight, not the others. No reason to insist putting them on the same "health kick" as the others.A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer IDEA Fitness member Kickboxing Certified Instructor Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition I can understand the animosity part. But I also feel I am the one who's cooking, I don't have to cook for anyone. I am willing to cook for everyone, if they want to eat what i make. I am thinking of this in the relationship context. If i have a girlfriend I would like for her to be happy. SHe obviously has the freedom to eat what she wants, but in the other hand, I would hope she's considerate and understanding of my goals, and she would want to assist me. If the tables are turned, I would be supportive of her goals and help her. If she goes vegan(not my thing), then I frankly would do it. I'd just make my own food.
emdeesea wrote: » Here's how I handle that: Either eat what I make or cook for yourself. I'm not anyone's mommy and certainly not anyone's domestic servant - ESPECIALLY to someone I'm not married to.
Sugarbeat wrote: » emdeesea wrote: » Here's how I handle that: Either eat what I make or cook for yourself. I'm not anyone's mommy and certainly not anyone's domestic servant - ESPECIALLY to someone I'm not married to. Agree with this.
hollyrayburn wrote: » If they don't participate in the shopping/cooking, then I'd say they can eat it, or not. "back in my day" I had two choices when others prepared meals for me. Take it or leave it. No, just take it, because momma said we don't waste food. If they wish to be particular about the meals, they can purchase and make their own meals.
