Lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks - HELP

I need to lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks because an event is coming up that I've known about for 6 months but have been putting off actually dieting or exercising. Does anyone have any tips or a diet plan I could follow? I'm thinking about taking a week-long correspondence course that will allow me to violate the laws of Physics so I can HEALTHILY lose the weight. My friend's cousin's barber said eating tiny amounts of anti-matter will slowly blast the fat away, can anyone recommend a good fitness program to go along with this? Thanks!!!!!

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Replies

unknown

teanahk wrote: »

ythannah wrote: »

Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

You want to be sure to get the Anti-Matter that's endorsed by Dr. Oz. That guy is like really a doctor or something and he wouldn't suggest anything that didn't work.

I think he has special persimmon flavored anti matter that works even faster...

unknown

ceoverturf wrote: »

Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious

Well, duh. I couldn't have made it MORE obvious

unknown

My answer: No way!!!

unknown

LOL

unknown

sofaking6 wrote: »

I'm a certified Particle Annihilation Coach™. I love to help people SO much that if you buy my $7 billion starter pack of anti-quarks, I'll throw in a t-shirt for free!!

This entertained me.

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karla24687 wrote: »

Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Cute.

@sofaking6 - I think that is AMAZING!! Maybe you could take me under your wing and learn me how to be a coach myself. Also, can I sell people powdered food as part of this?

unknown

ceoverturf wrote: »

Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious

This wasn't even a troll post. It's satirical. And it was kind of funny.

unknown

Yes, but only if you invest in the TapeWorm Diet. This way you can continue to eat whatever you want, no move a muscle and drop all the weight you need! Once you're at your goal weight, just take a deworming pill and you'll be all set. It may sound to good to be true, but it's not. It's just pure MAGIC. My aunt's first cousin's dog tried it and he lost 50 pounds in 4 hours!!!

unknown

I have a special super secret blend of anti matter, coconut oil and kale. Pay me £100 and I'll share the recipe with you

No refunds

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girlviernes wrote: »

karla24687 wrote: »

Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Cute.

@sofaking6 - I think that is AMAZING!! Maybe you could take me under your wing and learn me how to be a coach myself. Also, can I sell people powdered food as part of this?

Oh my gosh I would be so happy to, because I just want to help people out of love and stuff! If you send me $40 billion I will send you back a handwritten note on the back of a napkin, along with a few grams of a powdery substance. If you can make $100 billion from selling that, you will give it all to me and then you will be a COACH!!! It's so great being so nice to people, I really can't wait for you to experience it yourself so please hurry up with that payment k?