Lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks - HELP

I need to lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks because an event is coming up that I've known about for 6 months but have been putting off actually dieting or exercising. Does anyone have any tips or a diet plan I could follow? I'm thinking about taking a week-long correspondence course that will allow me to violate the laws of Physics so I can HEALTHILY lose the weight. My friend's cousin's barber said eating tiny amounts of anti-matter will slowly blast the fat away, can anyone recommend a good fitness program to go along with this? Thanks!!!!!

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Is this a serious question?

Amputation might get you there. But seriously, no.

Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

Sad thing is I didn't even bat an eye when I read the title of this thread.

Im sorry hon. This is not possible.

I'm a certified Particle Annihilation Coach™. I love to help people SO much that if you buy my $7 billion starter pack of anti-quarks, I'll throw in a t-shirt for free!!

Refer to this thread, you'll find plenty of answers.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10156638/lose-35-40-pounds-in-2-months#latest

Only way is to consume 0 calories and burn thousands of calories a day.... so nope not possible

Methinks some people didn't read the post or think this is serious

If you take a spin class, be sure to not take those spin-1/2 fermions, they make you dizzy.

Just eat clean (like scrub until its shiny) and weigh your food. You can totes do this. My friends sisters hamster did this and it worked.

Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I tried to lose 300lb by Friday and people told me I was an abusive spammer. I was hurt. I just wanted to be less fat

You can totes do this!!!!

Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious

ythannah wrote: »

Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

I second this. I got mine off craigslist and it disintegrated half my jaw.

ythannah wrote: »

Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

You want to be sure to get the Anti-Matter that's endorsed by Dr. Oz. That guy is like really a doctor or something and he wouldn't suggest anything that didn't work.

karla24687 wrote: »

Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Bwah ha ha ha ha!!! Love this!

Are people seriously thinking this is real? I saw the forum post it's mocking earlier and thought "blech" and moved on. But this response was priceless

The only good thing about anti-matter is the improvement of bowel movements. Or so I am told.

Make sure you don't eat the anti-matter after 7pm. It turns straight to fat then.

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