No support when I could use it. :(

I've been doing this for over a month now, no one around me is supportive. If they aren't making jokes about the changes I'm making, they show no care at all. I have lost nearly 13 pounds by just changing my eating habits. I know it's not a lot but it's an accomplishment and I'm proud of it...until someone asks how much I've lost so far. Then I bow my head in shame and mutter the number.

I have yet to start going to the gym. I've had a membership for over a year, my sister and I use to go together but then she stopped coming with me. I kept going by myself for a bit but then one night while I was using the bikes two guys came over. One went to use the bike next to me and his friend said, "Not those ones, those are the bikes for lazy people", looking at me. I always chose those ones because of having a larger backside it was more comfortable so I could focus on peddling rather than being uncomfortable. It's crazy how such a small remark completely tore down all of my confidence. I tried to go back a few times but my anxiety wouldn't allow me to get out of the car.

It's rather bothersome that being over weight gets me ridiculed but trying to change that also brings judgement not only from strangers but also friends and family. Despite this I keep plugging on with my healthier eating and have decided next week I am going to the gym, I'm not giving myself the option to be scared to. I've decided that my life, happiness, and body image are mine and no one else's. However it would be nice if someone around me supported me even just alittle because I'm not sure if I can keep telling myself to hold my head up high when my confidence is so low.

Replies

I'm with others on this! 13lbs is GREAT!! You really are doing amazing work. The gym is intimidating but by going back you are showing a great amount of strength and self-love. So important because it will show you again how very strong you are. And just think, by staying the course and taking care of you someday when you are at your goal weight someone will make a snarky comment about skinny people taking up the machines and you can turn to them and say "I worked hard for this and achieved it by using these machines." (This last comment is based on a real incident I read about over on the NSV thread in Success Stories.) It is so sad that people feel the need to tear others down, especially when you are doing something to better yourself or, in the case of that future example, maintain the awesome results you will achieve.
I haven't told anyone I personally know about my journey except my husband...and even that was hard as I did not grow up with support and learned not to think I'd get it. The last weekend in April I had a life changing mental shift and ended up friending a whole bunch of people (strangers) on here just to create the motivation and support system I knew I would need.

Feel free to friend me if you'd like more MFP support!

13 pounds lost is amazing!! I second everything everyone has said so far. Feel free to add me if you'd like.

Keep at it - you're doing well! Have you thought of going to exercise classes like Zumba? 9 times out of 10 if you go alone someone will start conversation with you!!! See this as an opportunity to show all those that have ridiculed you wrong!!! You can do this - use MFP as a motivational tool! I'll add you to help support you x

Woahhh 13 pounds in a month!! That's awesome! You gotta give me some tips! I can't seem to shed anything, oh well. Always remember haters will hate. Ignore them. People who tease usually have low self esteem and they find the need to tease people to feel better themselves. I am completely serious, and I'm not saying this to make you feel better, its the truth. So hold your head up high, you've done great, be proud of it!
P/s, I really need some tips on how to shed the pounds!

Do you know what people like that need a royal kick up the *kitten*. Don't give them the power to make you feel bad about yourself

You've lost nearly a stone, that's freaking awesome. Nobody can take that away from you. If you feel like someone is being an arsehole, sing that song shake it off, Taylor swift I think it is, and literally shake those comments off.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself how proud you are of yourself, write a journal of your anxieties and slowly work through them and build up your confidence. You have the strength to do this, you just need to look a little deeper and find it

Good luck on your journey and keep believing in yourself xx

You know what. You keep doing what you are doing. You can't control anyone else but yourself. Losing 13 lbs is a lot. People are going to talk regardless whether you're doing good or not. That's their way of making themselves feel good when they have some issues of their own. Rise above it. You got this.

Gen716 I sometimes feel the same way but I know that God is with me and is supporting me at all times. If you would like to talk sometimes please let me know.

13 pounds in a month is excellent! Sounds like you met some lunkheads at the gym. My suggestion to you is this... make some friends here, join a challenge or find a group of likeminded people right on this site and you will find an enormous amount of support. I am going to send you a friend request right now. You can do this. Just keep plugging away and ignore those who don't have your best interests at heart.

You can do it!!

I felt like that with the gym and even now I don't like using the weight machines when there are loads of men in there!

Believe me 13lb is something you should be shouting from the roof tops not muttering under your breath you should feel proud of yourself.

Feel free to add me as a friend!

xxx

You've taken the biggest step by starting & changing your diet well done it's amazing those around you try & ignore them I have a mother who used to tell me I've constantly put on weight & have a issue with weight previously because of it take positive steps and the results will come x

I'm laying here in my Jammie's reading this and I've decided to get up and go to the gym. Don't let others run your life. You can control how those comments affect you. You can let them shatter you. Or you can use them as a catalyst. Or you can completely ignore them as the stupid hurtful words they were. Focus on the task at hand and let everyone else go to hell.

You know that the guy who said that is ignorant, rude, uncaring, ignorant! You don't care what he has to say. You wouldn't take investment advice from the jerk. Or medical. Probably wouldn't even hire him as your mechanic. Don't let his words touch you.

Jwanguy wrote: »

You know what. You keep doing what you are doing. You can't control anyone else but yourself. Losing 13 lbs is a lot. People are going to talk regardless whether you're doing good or not. That's their way of making themselves feel good when they have some issues of their own. Rise above it. You got this.

This is true. Not only that, but use it as a learning example. Teach yourself to be responsible for your own thoughts/actions. You cannot control what anyone else says, thinks, feels, or does. Once you embrace that fact, you will see that it's not about you. What other people say is a reflection of their own thoughts/upbringings/experiences in their lives. You could walk in looking like an absolute perfect example of yourself, and someone would STILL have a problem with it. So what. Again, not in your control. If you live your life attempting to please everyone, the only one you'll please - is nobody and take yourself down in the process.

It is a valuable life lesson. Make that a goal if you want to conquer those feelings.

Good job on the weight loss so far. Keep going for yourself, there will always be haters.

13 lbs is great! Keep it up! You can do it and don't let any jerks bring you down!

13 pounds is an incredible loss!! I have to put up with constant comments from people I know including my mother but I am lucky enough to have a super supportive OH. I think you're super brave for going the gym after something like that put you off - there are some awful people out there but they tend to be the exception not the rule. I am always the biggest girl at the gym (ladies only gym) and no one ever says anything to me. Just stick some headphones in and stick with it - you're doing awesome!

I try and just take a minute to think about it when people say unkind things to me about my weight and the changes I'm making - are they jealous you are making a change they can't?

You are doing great!!!! 13pounds is a lot for 1 month. Many people dream about that success. Don't quit with gym, its so important for your healt. There is always going to be negative people around but they are minority. Most of people it's not like that, trust me. Be proud of yourself for doing so well with lack of support. It means you are very strong! Just set small goals for yourself so you can celebrate your accomplishment & then move on to a next goal! It takes time, patience & determination. I think you have that & don't let your insecurities to take over. You can do this, sky is the limit!

Honestly learn moe about how weight loss works, that will help you to understand the process and just how good 13lbs in a month is and that you should be feeling and doing the opposite of bowing your head in shame.
Be your own best friend and supporter and just keep trying to make good choices each day.

The gym is straightforward and gets easier the more you go. Focus on you and realise Nobody else gives a fig about what you are doing, they are more interested in themselves and just see you as one other who is trying to get fit.

Gen 13lbs is AWESOME!! Keep it up!! Don't listen to what they say!! I know its hard but at the end of the day none of those people will be around. You are beautiful and so strong for doing what you are doing!!
I have heard all sorts of horrible things to and no one understands that we are doing this to feel better about ourselves.
Please feel free to add me. It helps to have encouraging people at hand when there are so many negative people out there

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