ahoy_m8 wrote: » freeoscar wrote: » I'm sorry for your situation OP. My only advice was to seek therapy, but since you've already done that I don't have much to add except maybe see if you can convince him to see a new therapist as you are unhappy with his current one, or maybe go back to couple again if you have stopped. As you contemplate whether or not to stay in this marriage, one thing to consider is whether you can successfully pursue your own health goals while with him. It's one thing if he wants to destroy his own health, but you need to be able to maintain/improve yours. Good points. You have a good heart, OP. You gave him the benefit of the doubt with what you deemed to be his sincerity about health goals at the onset. I don't blame you for that one bit. The start of any relationship is filled with trust and hope; we cannot know everything about someone at the onset. Seeing red flags in retrospect... who has not experienced that? I have, for sure. Standing up and vowing to stick it out through sickness & health, for richer & poorer makes us think long and hard about whether folding the tent is the right thing. It doesn't feel good. You do have responsibility for yourself, though, and FreeOscar is right--you need to be able to maintain your own health. Maybe this is a good place to restart counseling, as it is focused on changing you not him. Even if he's not ready to take responsibility for himself, maybe he could see how criticizing/threatening your efforts to get healthier hurt you, and maybe he would be willing to love and accept you the way you are.
freeoscar wrote: » I'm sorry for your situation OP. My only advice was to seek therapy, but since you've already done that I don't have much to add except maybe see if you can convince him to see a new therapist as you are unhappy with his current one, or maybe go back to couple again if you have stopped. As you contemplate whether or not to stay in this marriage, one thing to consider is whether you can successfully pursue your own health goals while with him. It's one thing if he wants to destroy his own health, but you need to be able to maintain/improve yours.
SconnieCat wrote: » asflatasapancake wrote: » The real question is, should I make and then eat this? What is that on top? Is that cheese?
asflatasapancake wrote: » The real question is, should I make and then eat this?
Oshun64 wrote: » rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue
APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
asflatasapancake wrote: » SconnieCat wrote: » asflatasapancake wrote: » The real question is, should I make and then eat this? What is that on top? Is that cheese? I don't care. I want it in my belly now.
Chrysalid2014 wrote: » Oshun64 wrote: » rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue. Couldn't have said it better myself! Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
snickerscharlie wrote: » TimothyFish wrote: » I assume that your husband has no intention of eating all that at one time. There is a big difference between having it in the house and having it in your stomach. And I assume that the OP's husband isn't living in an underground bunker where he won't see the light of day or a grocery store for another month or two. Someone who deliberately purchases that amount of crap in one go probably plans to binge on it. *Four* bags of Oreos is a bit excessive. Unless all that stuff was on a big, big sale or something. Like bogo.
TimothyFish wrote: » I assume that your husband has no intention of eating all that at one time. There is a big difference between having it in the house and having it in your stomach.
jazmin220 wrote: » This reminds me of that one thread a few months ago where a mother made a post about how her teenage daughter was gaining a lot of weight in a short period of time and bingeing and eating copious amounts of unhealthy food and wanted advice on how to talk to her about changing her habits. Of course everyone wanted the mom to just let her daughter carry on and show no concern because the mom was just a bad, bad mom. People are ridiculous. While some people made very good points, keep in mind a large amount of us are here because we have terrible habits that led us to having health issues such as obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes etc etc etc. The point I'm trying to make is not everyone is qualified to tell you how to handle the situation as many people have proven in this forum.
SLLRunner wrote: » Chrysalid2014 wrote: » Oshun64 wrote: » rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue. Couldn't have said it better myself! Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves. This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.
janejellyroll wrote: » jazmin220 wrote: » This reminds me of that one thread a few months ago where a mother made a post about how her teenage daughter was gaining a lot of weight in a short period of time and bingeing and eating copious amounts of unhealthy food and wanted advice on how to talk to her about changing her habits. Of course everyone wanted the mom to just let her daughter carry on and show no concern because the mom was just a bad, bad mom. People are ridiculous. While some people made very good points, keep in mind a large amount of us are here because we have terrible habits that led us to having health issues such as obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes etc etc etc. The point I'm trying to make is not everyone is qualified to tell you how to handle the situation as many people have proven in this forum. I think I remember that thread and your summary of it seems biased and incorrect. Nobody said the mom should "show no concern." What many people said, (some based on their own personal experiences with over-eating and how their parents handled it) was that the mother should be careful in how she addresses the issue. Why? Because at the end of the day we do own our own consumption. Forbidding a spouse or child from eating certain things isn't going to help if they aren't ready to make a change.
APeacefulWarrior wrote: » MrM27 wrote: » This is an honest question, did you ask him why he opened all 4 Oreo packages and ate 2 from each? I did, but I already knew the answer...four different flavors... and he felt 8 was a reasonable amount for a late night snack.
MrM27 wrote: » This is an honest question, did you ask him why he opened all 4 Oreo packages and ate 2 from each?
jazmin220 wrote: » SLLRunner wrote: » Chrysalid2014 wrote: » Oshun64 wrote: » rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue. Couldn't have said it better myself! Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves. This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff. Yeah 'cause the husband bought 4 packs of oreos to have 2 cookies everyday
allaboutthecake wrote: » OP, I didn't wade thru the pages. But here's my take. Call your insurance agent and UP his Term Life Insurance, 10x his annual salary or more. Also, go get Long Term Care insurance. Sign his blankety-blank up for it all. Check into nursing homes, in-patient physical therapy type places, and bring those pamphlets home. You can't change a leopard's spots, but you sure as heck can be prepared for said leopard's stroke, heart attack, loss of limb due to his diabetes, kidney failure, or heaven help you anything worse. At least then, you're covered. And sometimes that peace of mind is worth all his cookies and sausages combined.
kimny72 wrote: » jazmin220 wrote: » SLLRunner wrote: » Chrysalid2014 wrote: » Oshun64 wrote: » rabbitjb wrote: » APeacefulWarrior wrote: » Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal. I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations?? 2 oreos is around 100 calories I fail to see the issue The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue. Couldn't have said it better myself! Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves. This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff. Yeah 'cause the husband bought 4 packs of oreos to have 2 cookies everyday The vast majority of the replies are assuming the OP's husband is overeating and heading down a dangerous road. Did you read the whole thread? You are arguing with a small minority of the posts in a 15 page thread?
jazmin220 wrote: » janejellyroll wrote: » jazmin220 wrote: » This reminds me of that one thread a few months ago where a mother made a post about how her teenage daughter was gaining a lot of weight in a short period of time and bingeing and eating copious amounts of unhealthy food and wanted advice on how to talk to her about changing her habits. Of course everyone wanted the mom to just let her daughter carry on and show no concern because the mom was just a bad, bad mom. People are ridiculous. While some people made very good points, keep in mind a large amount of us are here because we have terrible habits that led us to having health issues such as obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes etc etc etc. The point I'm trying to make is not everyone is qualified to tell you how to handle the situation as many people have proven in this forum. I think I remember that thread and your summary of it seems biased and incorrect. Nobody said the mom should "show no concern." What many people said, (some based on their own personal experiences with over-eating and how their parents handled it) was that the mother should be careful in how she addresses the issue. Why? Because at the end of the day we do own our own consumption. Forbidding a spouse or child from eating certain things isn't going to help if they aren't ready to make a change. I'm not so sure we are referring to the same thread here but I remember very clearly it was one of those posts with 10+ pages and many many many people just said leave her be, let her learn on her own, don't bug her, things along those lines.
