Need Help

A lot of people recommend the slow and steady method. This means that it would nearly take me two years to lose 120 pounds. Every time I start dieting, I fail and give up. I can't stand seeing my reflection when I'm shopping at the mall. I can't even think about starting a relationship with a guy. I tend to feel that they don't even know I'm alive.
How did you guys learn how to accept yourself while still being on the journey? I don't love the way I look. I'm 28. My face is almost 22.. but my body is even over 50

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unknown

Start doing some sort of fitness activity, be it running, dance classes, a sport like fencing or whatever....Something where you can concentrate on the little gains you make, the accomplishments, the fun, and forget how you look.... I took a running class for complete beginners when I started at 227lbs.... It was hard, it was fun, and it got me hooked onto something other than obsessing about my weight....
And make peace with the fact that your looks won't change overnight - that onlyhappens in fairy tales, and this is real life! Good luck!

unknown

I know it can seem like an overwhelming amount of weight to lose, but it can be done, you just have to stick with it. Some days may be slow and some quicker, but it WILL come off. Keep an image of where you want to go within eye site to remind you what you're working for. My husband lost 110 lbs in one year, but he was extremely motivated and wanted the weight off desperately. He ate fruits and vegetables and lean chicken breast everyday. You can do it Monna!! Hang in there!

unknown

Hi Monna, The safe weight loss rate is 1-2 lbs a week and if you are committed to eating healthy and exercising at least 3-4 times a week, you should be able to hit your weight loss goal earlier than 15 months. I second astrampe with starting on a fitness regimen, trying out few sports and exercises and finding out what keeps you motivated.

Once you start, little improvements and weight loss will keep you going. Read up on motivational stories and get some inspiration on a regular basis. Think about why you want to be healthy in the first place and keep reminding yourself everyday! An year from now, you might think you should have started today! Good luck with your journey on becoming healthy! And yes, slow and steady is always better here..

unknown

Monna2 wrote: »

A lot of people recommend the slow and steady method. This means that it would nearly take me two years to lose 120 pounds. Every time I start dieting, I fail and give up. I can't stand seeing my reflection when I'm shopping at the mall. I can't even think about starting a relationship with a guy. I tend to feel that they don't even know I'm alive.
How did you guys learn how to accept yourself while still being on the journey? I don't love the way I look. I'm 28. My face is almost 22.. but my body is even over 50

I focus on what I have accomplished rather than how much farther I have to go. I've been at this since January 2014. I've lost 55 pounds and have another 10+ pounds to go. It's very possibly going to take me into this fall for that to happen. I am very focused on losing fat and maximizing my muscle during this process, which tends to slow the weight loss process. So it is very slow going but as I said, focusing on what you've accomplished along the way helps pass the time and helps you learn to appreciate yourself and your body more. It's a glass half full vs glass half empty approach.

unknown

Such wonderful advice above. There’s not much I can add, but I just wanted to say you shouldn’t be discouraged. When I first got serious about weight loss I felt the same way you describe, and a lot of those feelings linger now, 50lbs later.

The way you feel about yourself is the one thing you can change right now, and you you should (in my opinion) fuel your determination to lose weight from a good place: to be healthy and strong, enjoy any activity, being able to do all sorts of stuff like hiking, running, or whatever you like. Your weight does not make you any less beautiful as a person or less worthy of love - be strong mentally and you will get stronger physically as well.

You can do this! Look through success stories, practice a positive self-image, and time will fly. When you start seeing results (which always happens if you track your caloric intake accurately), your dreams will become more and more real. Best of luck!

P.S. Lately I shifted my goal from weight loss to strength gain, as I started lifting heavy weights, and it’s the best thing I’ve done ever. Maybe find a fitness goal to work toward to stay motivated and on track.

unknown

It's been almost two years and I am down about ninety pounds. I had a lot of medical support and bariatric surgery. Nevertheless, what I choose to eat and what I do is a daily choice.

Before this I tried many times and stalled out too. But I'm in my fifties. So the feelings you have and the difficulty to follow through is pretty common, I'd say.

I keep an eye on my own feelings and if I get any sense that I am getting bored or discouraged, I have a good think as to the causes, and change my routine somehow. I've been very strategic on how I've handled my feelings along the way. I get a lot more satisfaction from behavioral and fitness goals. Weight is generally under your control but you don't get immediate satisfaction from the scale. You can have a "good" week and inexplicably go up on the scale. Very discouraging. On the other hand I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be able to pick up a penny from the ground. My flexibility and mobility has improved in leaps and bounds. My favourite slogans, for which I have made some posters for myself this week are "healthy" and "strong". My experience is that the body responds faster to fitness goals. I've attended a few "power" classes for instance, and I feel biceps.

As to feeling good where you are, I suggest dressing well and dressing to fit how you are now. Good hair cut. Be engaged and interested in others. Frankly, nearly the entire planet is full of self-absorbed people. They will think you are interesting if you are curious about them. Set some long term fitness goals, like signing up for a charity walk to keep you looking forward.

unknown

Hey 110 lbs to loose here

Yes it's going to take a while to loose

Maybe pamper yourself to feel great

unknown

What worked for me is to set some very small goals (i.e. lose 25 lbs., treat myself to a new outfit).

I took a break from MFP due to some medical issues and have just recently started back. I have also set these small goals (treats) for this journey. For me, if I have something to look forward to I am more motivated to reach that goal. A lot of small goals reached will get you to your ultimate goal of losing that 110 lbs. I have about 150 to lose, so I understand what you are saying.

It is going to be a slow process, but it is worth it in the end. Keep you chin up. Instead of being down on yourself for how you look, picture what you can and will look like.

unknown

It IS a long process. I am down 53 pounds since last January. Been maintaining since February. Probably need to lose 10 more but ok with where I am right now. Will tackle the next 10 when my mind can focus more. Every victory counts. Even at 53 pounds down, I still don't see a "skinny" me. What I do see is a healthier me. You must focus on the small goals because they WILL turn into very large goals. And honestly, the time really did go by fast.

unknown

rdlewis123 wrote: »

It IS a long process. I am down 53 pounds since last January. Been maintaining since February. Probably need to lose 10 more but ok with where I am right now. Will tackle the next 10 when my mind can focus more. Every victory counts. Even at 53 pounds down, I still don't see a "skinny" me. What I do see is a healthier me. You must focus on the small goals because they WILL turn into very large goals. And honestly, the time really did go by fast.

One of the best things I did for myself, both mentally and physically, was to focus on maintaining for several months once I hit the 50ish pound point. I maintained and worked out hard and then when I started trying to lose again I felt so refreshed. Giving yourself time to refresh is an excellent idea

unknown

Monna2 wrote: »

A lot of people recommend the slow and steady method. This means that it would nearly take me two years to lose 120 pounds. Every time I start dieting, I fail and give up. I can't stand seeing my reflection when I'm shopping at the mall. I can't even think about starting a relationship with a guy. I tend to feel that they don't even know I'm alive.
How did you guys learn how to accept yourself while still being on the journey? I don't love the way I look. I'm 28. My face is almost 22.. but my body is even over 50

I think it sounds like you would benefit from speaking to a counselor about these feelings. In the meantime, let me +1 the suggestion that you start exercising--both for the endorphins and the non-scale victories. You have taken an important first step by signing up here. You will make it!

But let me suggest something: You don't have 120 pounds to lose. You have one pound to lose. Concentrate on the process (weighing and logging accurately) and don't look so far in the future.

unknown

It's very easy to feel discouraged and alone in this journey. But in a way it's a healing process too. It teaches us to learn and accept all of our faults. Accepting is probably the hardest part, especially if you're anything like me you just stare at the problem forever and get depressed about it. So far I've learned that you just simply have to attack it. Ask yourself all the necessary questions and just attack it head on.
i.e. Am I happy with the way things are now? Do I want to change? Do I need to change? How badly do I want this?
I'm right there with you in hating mirrors in the malls. I avoid them every chance I get. But the only way to have that end is (unfortunately lol) going to be a lot of hard work.

Feel free to add me and we can motivate each other! I promise it will get better, just stick with it. Chin up champ, you got this!

unknown

jemhh wrote: »

rdlewis123 wrote: »

It IS a long process. I am down 53 pounds since last January. Been maintaining since February. Probably need to lose 10 more but ok with where I am right now. Will tackle the next 10 when my mind can focus more. Every victory counts. Even at 53 pounds down, I still don't see a "skinny" me. What I do see is a healthier me. You must focus on the small goals because they WILL turn into very large goals. And honestly, the time really did go by fast.

One of the best things I did for myself, both mentally and physically, was to focus on maintaining for several months once I hit the 50ish pound point. I maintained and worked out hard and then when I started trying to lose again I felt so refreshed. Giving yourself time to refresh is an excellent idea

I'm in the same boat--54 pounds lost, 10-20 to go, keeping a small deficit at this point because I am tired of keeping my calories so low that I don't have a life. I'll get back to it later.

unknown

Mine took me about 6 years and I'm still working at it. I never gave up though. If I had, I'd still weight 350 lbs. So, stop giving up and feeling sorry for yourself. If you avoid the struggle, you'll be stuck for good.

unknown

Thank you all for the motivation. It really helps.

unknown

Monna2 wrote: »

A lot of people recommend the slow and steady method. This means that it would nearly take me two years to lose 120 pounds. Every time I start dieting, I fail and give up. I can't stand seeing my reflection when I'm shopping at the mall. I can't even think about starting a relationship with a guy. I tend to feel that they don't even know I'm alive.
How did you guys learn how to accept yourself while still being on the journey? I don't love the way I look. I'm 28. My face is almost 22.. but my body is even over 50

How long did it take you to gain those 120 lbs? Think about it, you didn't gain it quickly, you won't lose it quickly. Slow and steady means the weight you lose will be mainly fat, and it's more likely you'll be able to stick with it. If you aim for quick results and crash diet, you'll likely give up and put more weight on. Sorry, but this is something you need to go along with if you want proper results. You're only 28 years old, you've got such a long time left in your life - so why the hurry? However bad you feel about yourself now, just think how great you'll feel about yourself once you get to your goal.