Mentally preparing yourself to maintain

I'm having a hard time believing it's ok for me to maintain at my current size. A month or so ago, I decided I wanted to and would move into it (not hard because I've always been someone who had maintenance days on a regular basis). I love to eat so finding the calories isn't the hard part. I'm having trouble not thinking I could lose a little more fat and get leaner. So I'll have a maintenance day and then I'll turn around and eat at a deficit. Not a huge deficit. Maybe tdee-10%. It doesn't help that I'm having trouble finding maintenance. I'm just guessing at this point because I can't hold a number steady to even know. So mixing maintenance days with small deficit days, I don't even know what the point of what I'm doing is. And with the way I've been eating out late, I'm just taking wild guesses at what I maintain at. I need to decide what the heck I'm doing. Maintaining or still trying to lose?

I'm digressing a little through. How did you get to the point mentally where you felt it was time to maintain? If I mentally feel like I have more fat to lose, should I just continue to lose until I get to the place I feel comfortable? I'm at a perfectly healthy weight. Clothes are at the size I want them to be. I feel like I look lean for the most part. But it's this damn fat on my stomach I want to get rid of and I know the way to do it is a deficit.

It doesn't help that I haven't tested my body fat percentage lately. I got a bodpod 10 pounds ago and the results very incredibly disheartening. It said 31% at 5'2" 128. I think it was inaccurate because I really can't see how it was that high. But have kept that number as a possibility. So if that was accurate and I've lost 10 pounds, assuming I some how managed to not lose any muscle with lifting, at best I'm looking at 26%. That's room to lose.

I'm just very conflicted about what to do. I know I'm my biggest critic. I think it also doesn't help that I'm somewhat curvier for my height and weight. So I have a tendency to look stubby. Maybe I should just try to do another body fat percentage test. Just worried I'll hate the results lol. I know the advice I would give myself is just to maintain and keep going strong with workouts but I just feel off about it when I still have fat I want to lose.

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I know exactly how you feel. I'm pretty much in the same boat at you. I'm fairly happy with my current weight however, feel I have more fat to lose. I go back and forth a lot about maintaining and losing. Currently I have my goals set at .5/week loss even though in my mind I say I'm maintaining. It's a very hard mental battle and I wish I knew the secret to overcome it.

My advice to you would be to try maintenance for a while and see how you like it. Try a recomp instead of losing weight. It's much slower and harder to track than weight loss but will probably help you break this mental batter you're stuck in. At least that's what I try to tell myself every day. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

GothyFaery wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel. I'm pretty much in the same boat at you. I'm fairly happy with my current weight however, feel I have more fat to lose. I go back and forth a lot about maintaining and losing. Currently I have my goals set at .5/week loss even though in my mind I say I'm maintaining. It's a very hard mental battle and I wish I knew the secret to overcome it.

My advice to you would be to try maintenance for a while and see how you like it. Try a recomp instead of losing weight. It's much slower and harder to track than weight loss but will probably help you break this mental batter you're stuck in. At least that's what I try to tell myself every day. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Glad to know I'm not alone! It's not a number thing or scale thing. It's purely just having fat I'd still like to lose. I keep tossing around the idea of just looking at recomp but it's so drawn out I worry id get discouraged. My initial plan was cut and bulk but I didn't account for the timeline leading to what would've been a summer bulk and that doesn't make sense.

A mental break would be nice. Just hate the thought of things not being my ideal.

I understand completely. I don't consider myself in maintenance from a metal perspective. I'm trying not to eat at a deficit. I plan to remain aware of my eatting habits and physical activity levels. I don't want to slack off and get back into the habit of over eatting. After working toward a goal and developing new habits, it's hard to just stop tracking your progress. So, I'm shifting my focus to fitness goals such as, how many push-ups, sit-ups, dips can I do, running,etc. Goals such as this help keep me active and healthy. They also impact % of body fat.

I'm also almost in this exact situation right now. I keep changing my mind about whether to maintain or not like every other day, and here I am still in a deficit. I think I'm gonna wait for my current TOTM bloatings to go away to see my actual weight, then estimate my TDEE from the current weigh-in data I have and then start upping my calories after that. If I up them slowly, I might just lose a little bit more so that my belly fat goes down a bit before I reach maintenance anyway.

If you're unsure and if you keep going back to a deficit, then maybe you might as well just try and shred a little bit more fat until you're happy with how you look? I think you should feel certain that maintenance is something you'd like to do and that it's the right time, if you're so back and forth about it maybe you just don't really feel like it's time yet.

I don't know anyone who is 100% happy with their physique...not a single person.

terar21 wrote: »

GothyFaery wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel. I'm pretty much in the same boat at you. I'm fairly happy with my current weight however, feel I have more fat to lose. I go back and forth a lot about maintaining and losing. Currently I have my goals set at .5/week loss even though in my mind I say I'm maintaining. It's a very hard mental battle and I wish I knew the secret to overcome it.

My advice to you would be to try maintenance for a while and see how you like it. Try a recomp instead of losing weight. It's much slower and harder to track than weight loss but will probably help you break this mental batter you're stuck in. At least that's what I try to tell myself every day. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Glad to know I'm not alone! It's not a number thing or scale thing. It's purely just having fat I'd still like to lose. I keep tossing around the idea of just looking at recomp but it's so drawn out I worry id get discouraged. My initial plan was cut and bulk but I didn't account for the timeline leading to what would've been a summer bulk and that doesn't make sense.

A mental break would be nice. Just hate the thought of things not being my ideal.

I had originally planned to bulk/cut as well. Here's my problem with that. They tell you not to start a bulk until you're at or close to a body fat level you want because you will gain some fat during the bulk. So I decided to start on the cutting side of things and bulk afterwards. That basically put me back in the same situation I was in before where I was losing weight even though I really wanted to maintain.

Then the thought of bulking scared me because I had worked so hard to lose weight and the thought of purposely gaining weight (even muscle weight) almost made me sick. Recomp is horribly slow and very hard to notice but it really has helped me with the mental aspect of things. I agree with setting fitness goals. It helps get your mind off the other issues and still gives you something to work towards.

First of all you could lose 20 more pounds and still not be happy with your stomach, thighs, arms and so on. That's each and every human being not just you. That's probably the hardest hurdle, accepting your body shape.

The skin cells take a while to spring back, longer the older you are so if you're happy with your weight and clothing size I say stick with it, stop trying to lose a few more pounds and just enjoy where you are. You may find a few months from now those trouble areas aren't nearly as much trouble as you'd thought.

Hey all,

I was in exactly the same situation as you. I reached my goal weight a few years ago and have managed to keep the weight off ever since. I had a number on the scales that was my goal, and I stopped eating in a deficit when I got there.

Problem was, as a lot of you are finding, I was still skinny fat! So about 3 months ago I decided to hit it hard with workouts, focusing on lifting heavy to build some muscle and shift some fat and add some definition to my body. I'm eating in a slight deficit to shift the remaining fat, but have seen some newbie gains in terms of muscle. I'm really happy with the results. My body is "tighter" - I love my upper body which is really lean, and I have great arms

I'm still working on my lower body, but slowly it's improving massively.

My boobs are the casualty to all this though

I'm finally starting to lose them.

So if any of you do want to try to lose the skinny fat- lift heavy and incorporate some HiiT training.

I'm hoping to do a slow bulk after the summer as I feel my lifting is going to stall and I won't be able to gain anymore muscle without eating in surplus.

Intermittent maintenance and very small deficit doesn't seem like a bad way to go, actually. I decided in late March to accept where I was and maintain - I track daily but I eat and move differently each day - some days I am "over" and some I am "under" and while I generally am within 50 calories of meeting CICO according to my 30-day rolling horizon, I lost a pound and a half over the last six weeks.

I struggle with the same thing! I reached what was my "final" goal weight and have maintained that for a long time now; however, I still have fat that I hate and know that my body could be drastically improved. On occasion I will convince myself that I need to get the fat off and start restricting my calories and start losing a few pounds before re-convincing myself that I am being too critical of myself. It is a vicious little cycle. I wonder to myself if being critical on myself and taking of the rest of the extra weight is realistic. Will that even make me happy? I am a runner and I exercise regularly and am at a healthy weight. But I love to eat and love my sweets and I don't know that I could happily maintain at a much lower weight.

I read an article that talked about "happy" weight that I find to be helpful and have to remind myself about. I still have fat that I want to lose; however, after reading this it made me realize that my body doesn't necessarily need to be perfect and completely lean. As long as I am healthy and happy where I am then that is all that matters. Here is a snippet from the article explaining how you can determine if you have found your "happy" weight:

Be Mindful Of Your ‘Happy Weight’

More than anything, determining the weight at which you’re happiest is really about being mindful and making healthy decisions.

But to recap, here’s the general recipe for determining those happy weights:
•You fall in (or close to) the “lean”BMI category.
•You’re not constantly stressed about food choices, or maintaining a hyper-specific number on the scale.
•You’re eating balanced meals, healthfully and mindfully.
•You feel comfortable in your clothes, and your waist circumference is less than 35 inches if you’re a woman and less than 40 inches if you’re a man.

Put simply? Aim to wake up everyday in a normal weight range, where you will naturally feel great in your body. “A healthy weight is the weight that’s best for you, not necessarily the lowest weight you think you can be,” says Popeck. “It is a weight in a range related to good health.”

And it’s sustainable — ideally forever, to up your odds of stable, good health. “Maintaining a healthy weight throughout life is really the best,” Popeck says.

When in doubt, the smart approach to your best weight ever is actually no secret, says Popeck. “It’s common sense,” she says. “A healthful lifestyle, which includes regular physical activity as well as an eating pattern chosen for variety, balance, and moderation makes all the difference.”

Don’t worry; be healthy. You’ll probably be happier, too.

https://www.yahoo.com/health/how-to-find-your-happy-weight-108652123452.html

Hope this helps you!!

I'm in the same boat. Been maintaining since last July at 133 pounds, give or take 2/3 pounds... while trying to lose 3 pounds. I like the way I look, my legs look great and my arms as good as they will (I have some residual loose skin so small bat wings) but I still have too much fat on my hips (and stomach, but I have so much loose skin there that it's hard to tell exactly) and want to lose it... so I keep a permanent deficit. But I know that some days I end up going over because I'm hungrier, so I keep a bigger deficit that I reach 3-4 days a week (400ish). I typically manage to have a 1000-1500 deficit most weeks, but I always end up hungrier when I finally get under 132 pounds and end up regaining a pound (plus PMS screws me over badly every month too because I'm pretty much starving for a week).

Honestly? At this point I figure I will NEVER eat at maintenance. I always have weeks over and weeks under, and it balances out. If I start eating at maintenance, I'm sure I'll end up gaining.

ETA: for what it's worth I think you look amazing.

I believe we all have goals in managing our weight and walking the line without obsessing over it . If you want to keep motivated for a few months seasonal take out that outfit you look absolutely hot in.. if it still fits and looks great. perfect keep maintaining but if your feeling the tight with your face turning red.. ...enough said lol .. cardio..

It took a while to get used to maintaining both mentally and physically. I got to my target weight and decided to let my body adjust to the new size (a lot of the skin firmed up and my turkey neck went, for example, plus it allowed me to focus on setting fitness goals). Mentally, I said to myself that I'd try maintaining for 6 months and see how I felt after I'd had time to adapt. You don't have to stay at our current weight for ever, so it's not a decision you have to take right now. It's not as though you can't lose a few pounds at some later date if you decide that it would work for you.

Basically I had planned to lose just a few more lb, but it got to the point where I would have to sacrifice my strength and my weight lifting to be able to cut calories enough to lose more, and I said, well, it's not worth doing that, so I'll stay right here. I felt like building muscle was more important than getting any thinner.

Lift heavy things. I am the same weight I was on January 7, 2014, but I have 2% less body fat and will soon need dress pants one size smaller than I have. You have to give yourself permission to eat enough to do the work and realize that you may gain a few pounds while losing inches. When I got to 162, I cut back to get to 157 again. My health insurance rates are based partially on my BMI and 157 is the number they like. For the next 10 months, I plan to try to add more muscle and then I'll cut again for the HR health police. I won't go over 165 the whole time. Well, I.expect not to, I didn't this year.

blossom015 wrote: »

I understand completely. I don't consider myself in maintenance from a metal perspective. I'm trying not to eat at a deficit. I plan to remain aware of my eatting habits and physical activity levels. I don't want to slack off and get back into the habit of over eatting. After working toward a goal and developing new habits, it's hard to just stop tracking your progress. So, I'm shifting my focus to fitness goals such as, how many push-ups, sit-ups, dips can I do, running,etc. Goals such as this help keep me active and healthy. They also impact % of body fat.

I try to focus in those as well. Which probably means I should be eating at maintenance to fuel those goals.

Allelito wrote: »

I'm also almost in this exact situation right now. I keep changing my mind about whether to maintain or not like every other day, and here I am still in a deficit. I think I'm gonna wait for my current TOTM bloatings to go away to see my actual weight, then estimate my TDEE from the current weigh-in data I have and then start upping my calories after that. If I up them slowly, I might just lose a little bit more so that my belly fat goes down a bit before I reach maintenance anyway.

If you're unsure and if you keep going back to a deficit, then maybe you might as well just try and shred a little bit more fat until you're happy with how you look? I think you should feel certain that maintenance is something you'd like to do and that it's the right time, if you're so back and forth about it maybe you just don't really feel like it's time yet.

I planned on upping slowly but my deficit was right at .5 pounds and I regular have maintenance days due to work travel eating so I don't think it makes much difference how quickly I go up since I fluctuate calories so much to begin with. I do think I want to be at maintenance. It's just weird to feel like this is it.

cwolfman13 wrote: »

I don't know anyone who is 100% happy with their physique...not a single person.

Sadly true. I do realize I'm being unnecessarily hard on myself.

dawnmcneil10 wrote: »

First of all you could lose 20 more pounds and still not be happy with your stomach, thighs, arms and so on. That's each and every human being not just you. That's probably the hardest hurdle, accepting your body shape.

The skin cells take a while to spring back, longer the older you are so if you're happy with your weight and clothing size I say stick with it, stop trying to lose a few more pounds and just enjoy where you are. You may find a few months from now those trouble areas aren't nearly as much trouble as you'd thought.

That's true. Thanks!

CatHunterFit wrote: »

Hey all,

I was in exactly the same situation as you. I reached my goal weight a few years ago and have managed to keep the weight off ever since. I had a number on the scales that was my goal, and I stopped eating in a deficit when I got there.

Problem was, as a lot of you are finding, I was still skinny fat! So about 3 months ago I decided to hit it hard with workouts, focusing on lifting heavy to build some muscle and shift some fat and add some definition to my body. I'm eating in a slight deficit to shift the remaining fat, but have seen some newbie gains in terms of muscle. I'm really happy with the results. My body is "tighter" - I love my upper body which is really lean, and I have great arms I'm still working on my lower body, but slowly it's improving massively.

My boobs are the casualty to all this though I'm finally starting to lose them.

So if any of you do want to try to lose the skinny fat- lift heavy and incorporate some HiiT training.

I'm hoping to do a slow bulk after the summer as I feel my lifting is going to stall and I won't be able to gain anymore muscle without eating in surplus.

Thanks for the advice! I've been lifting for a little while now. Over 6 months. It's going very well. It's not a skinny fat problem (I've got decent muscle/strength for my size). Just so unsure about if I need to lose more.

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