How important are cheat meals or cheat days?

I have recently started this weight loss journey. I have learned through many failed diets that weight loss and healthy living are about a lifestyle change. I have lost 19.6 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I have a shakeology meal replacement shake for breakfast every morning and I do enjoy that. I've also thought about having another meal replacement shake at lunch since they do fill me up. I have stuck to a low carb, low sugar diet as best I know how. Cutting out breads, starches, pastas, sweet treats, candies, sodas, and even coffee. Now I have stalled out. I've had numerous people tell me that cheat meals or even cheat days are very important to a successful journey. Anytime I do this, I feel extremely guilty. I don't do an entire cheat day, just a meal and the first time I did it, it seemed to help me over a plateau. My exercise is mainly cardio (a lot of just dance on the wii) and brisk walking. I'm trying to get to a place where I can jog. Not there yet. Although I could definitely do more cardio. I just wonder how important it is to cheat.
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Replies

  • Merkavar wrote: »
    What is the point of the shakes? If your barely getting 1000 calories a day and meant to be eating 1900(is the right, seems high to me too)

    I would forget the shakes and have real food. That should get your calories up to a healthy amount.

    19 pounds in 3 weeks seems very very Unhealthy. Considering 2 pounds a week is the goal at most.

    You do seem to be setting your self up for failure.

    I agree it is a lot of weight to lose so quickly. Before I began this journey, I didn't even care what I ate, when I ate, or anything about it. I'm an emotional eater, a stress eater, a bored eater. Food WAS my comfort. I am very overweight. I decided I was done with all of that. A friend gave me a bag of shakeology. And I've been using it every morning since. Before I got it, I didn't eat breakfast at all. The shake is full of protein and vitamins and keeps me full until lunch. Since I started the shakes, my entire way of eating has changed. Eating much leaner foods, vegetables, fruit, etc. the shake just kind of jump started the losing weight process. I cut out carbs, sugars, starches as best I could because those are my go to comfort foods. Cutting those out helped me lose the cravings for them. I only have the shake for breakfast. And since I didn't eat breakfast before, I didn't figure it would hurt me any. I have less cravings though out the day, if any. I eat a good lunch and dinner. I drink plenty of water. And I'm exercising. I could definitely exercise more.

    You are doing a great job girl. Keep at it!
  • Hopefully you didn't get the impression that drinking a protein shake for breakfast is bad - I don't think that was the message anyone was trying to send. If that's working for you, that's great. I think what people were trying to convey is that
    A. There are cheaper ways to get protein than to do shakeology or herbalife or things like that, and
    B. You don't need to do meal replacement shakes to lose weight.

    But if your nutritional needs are being met and having a protein shake for breakfast is helpful to you, then that's awesome. Keep doing it. I would probably do it too because I struggle to get enough protein in my day, but the couple of times I tried it I was starving long before lunch so I decided that didn't work for me. But probably once or twice a week I have a protein drink and a side salad for either lunch or dinner.
  • Merkavar wrote: »
    What is the point of the shakes? If your barely getting 1000 calories a day and meant to be eating 1900(is the right, seems high to me too)

    I would forget the shakes and have real food. That should get your calories up to a healthy amount.

    19 pounds in 3 weeks seems very very Unhealthy. Considering 2 pounds a week is the goal at most.

    You do seem to be setting your self up for failure.

    I agree it is a lot of weight to lose so quickly. Before I began this journey, I didn't even care what I ate, when I ate, or anything about it. I'm an emotional eater, a stress eater, a bored eater. Food WAS my comfort. I am very overweight. I decided I was done with all of that. A friend gave me a bag of shakeology. And I've been using it every morning since. Before I got it, I didn't eat breakfast at all. The shake is full of protein and vitamins and keeps me full until lunch. Since I started the shakes, my entire way of eating has changed. Eating much leaner foods, vegetables, fruit, etc. the shake just kind of jump started the losing weight process. I cut out carbs, sugars, starches as best I could because those are my go to comfort foods. Cutting those out helped me lose the cravings for them. I only have the shake for breakfast. And since I didn't eat breakfast before, I didn't figure it would hurt me any. I have less cravings though out the day, if any. I eat a good lunch and dinner. I drink plenty of water. And I'm exercising. I could definitely exercise more.

    I think this sounds like a good start, actually.

    The things to worry about are (1) not getting burnt out, and (2) not getting frustrated with minor setbacks and chucking everything.

    When people make a huge change all at once there can be a tendency to see it as all or nothing and once you start having more problems (which is common--we are super motivated at the beginning of a diet often) seeing it as not working or spoiled and ending up going way off track. You need to be able to see it as a process and if you aren't perfect, that's okay. (This is motivated by your comment at the beginning that you feel guilty "cheating" and even the use of the term "cheat," although I know that's common.)

    Similarly, if you start getting bored with your food or wanting more or more variety, know that's okay, and that you can work that in. I started last year by cutting out added sugar and cutting starches way down, because I thought the first would help with my emotional eating issues (it did--I basically taught myself I didn't need food to deal with emotion, although it's an ongoing struggle off and on) and figured the second would be a painless way to cut calories (it was). As I lost I added some sweets back in in moderation when I had the calories and played around with my carb level (increased it as I lost weight and exercised more). The point is that I'd probably be unhappy if I was eating now like I was then, but I was open to modifying and not seeing it as all or nothing.

    I don't see anything wrong with the shakeology given that they were free and it's not like you are cutting out a different breakfast for them. There are cheaper shakes, but if these are tasty and convenient, that's great.

    I wouldn't worry about stalling now--you won't lose every week and if you've had a huge few weeks catching up a bit with the water loss (basically replacing some of the water loss that happens when you dramatically cut carbs and calories with more fat loss) is normal.

    You don't need a "cheat" or "treat" day, but it also doesn't hurt to have one and you shouldn't feel guilty. My approach would be similar to what someone else said--think of staying at maintenance or below, but just have an occasional higher calorie day if you think it would make it easier to stay on plan. When I started I was doing 1250 calories (I also had lots to lose) and found it easy, but after a few weeks I found it much easier to be able to have one day a week when I could eat a little more--go to a restaurant without it being too hard to fit into my day. I doubt this matters physically, but mentally it helped and didn't hurt my rate of loss.

    You want to feel strong and energetic and be able to exercise, so I wouldn't cut too low. Hard to judge based on the first few weeks, but if you keep losing at more than 2-3 lb/week I'd definitely try to eat more.
  • tlflag1620 wrote: »
    You've lost about 20 lbs in 3 weeks.....
    Am I the only one seeing that as crazy? Subsisting on meal replacements so you can lose 6-7 lbs a week is not a "lifestyle". It's a crash diet.
    You say you've "stalled"? How long have you been "stalled"? Obviously most of what you've lost in the past 3 weeks has been water (and some muscle). Do you really expect to sustain a 6-7 lb per week rate of loss?

    I too noticed the crash diet of 6-7# per week in 3 weeks. My understanding about plateaus is that they last 2 weeks or longer with no weight loss. How could you have a couple of plateaus in just 3 weeks.

    Start considering this a true lifestyle change. A solid breakfast is important, and does jump start your metabolism. Try eating (6) 150-250 calorie meals consisting of high protein (yet low fat & sodium) and whole grains. Add to that lots of veggies and a fruit, and you have a lifestyle you can live with and still have room for a treat every once in a while. Whenever you think you are craving a carb, drink 8 oz of water instead. Most cravings are in your head, not because you are hungry.
  • lemurcat12 wrote: »
    Merkavar wrote: »
    What is the point of the shakes? If your barely getting 1000 calories a day and meant to be eating 1900(is the right, seems high to me too)

    I would forget the shakes and have real food. That should get your calories up to a healthy amount.

    19 pounds in 3 weeks seems very very Unhealthy. Considering 2 pounds a week is the goal at most.

    You do seem to be setting your self up for failure.

    I agree it is a lot of weight to lose so quickly. Before I began this journey, I didn't even care what I ate, when I ate, or anything about it. I'm an emotional eater, a stress eater, a bored eater. Food WAS my comfort. I am very overweight. I decided I was done with all of that. A friend gave me a bag of shakeology. And I've been using it every morning since. Before I got it, I didn't eat breakfast at all. The shake is full of protein and vitamins and keeps me full until lunch. Since I started the shakes, my entire way of eating has changed. Eating much leaner foods, vegetables, fruit, etc. the shake just kind of jump started the losing weight process. I cut out carbs, sugars, starches as best I could because those are my go to comfort foods. Cutting those out helped me lose the cravings for them. I only have the shake for breakfast. And since I didn't eat breakfast before, I didn't figure it would hurt me any. I have less cravings though out the day, if any. I eat a good lunch and dinner. I drink plenty of water. And I'm exercising. I could definitely exercise more.

    I think this sounds like a good start, actually.

    The things to worry about are (1) not getting burnt out, and (2) not getting frustrated with minor setbacks and chucking everything.

    When people make a huge change all at once there can be a tendency to see it as all or nothing and once you start having more problems (which is common--we are super motivated at the beginning of a diet often) seeing it as not working or spoiled and ending up going way off track. You need to be able to see it as a process and if you aren't perfect, that's okay. (This is motivated by your comment at the beginning that you feel guilty "cheating" and even the use of the term "cheat," although I know that's common.)

    Similarly, if you start getting bored with your food or wanting more or more variety, know that's okay, and that you can work that in. I started last year by cutting out added sugar and cutting starches way down, because I thought the first would help with my emotional eating issues (it did--I basically taught myself I didn't need food to deal with emotion, although it's an ongoing struggle off and on) and figured the second would be a painless way to cut calories (it was). As I lost I added some sweets back in in moderation when I had the calories and played around with my carb level (increased it as I lost weight and exercised more). The point is that I'd probably be unhappy if I was eating now like I was then, but I was open to modifying and not seeing it as all or nothing.

    I don't see anything wrong with the shakeology given that they were free and it's not like you are cutting out a different breakfast for them. There are cheaper shakes, but if these are tasty and convenient, that's great.

    I wouldn't worry about stalling now--you won't lose every week and if you've had a huge few weeks catching up a bit with the water loss (basically replacing some of the water loss that happens when you dramatically cut carbs and calories with more fat loss) is normal.

    You don't need a "cheat" or "treat" day, but it also doesn't hurt to have one and you shouldn't feel guilty. My approach would be similar to what someone else said--think of staying at maintenance or below, but just have an occasional higher calorie day if you think it would make it easier to stay on plan. When I started I was doing 1250 calories (I also had lots to lose) and found it easy, but after a few weeks I found it much easier to be able to have one day a week when I could eat a little more--go to a restaurant without it being too hard to fit into my day. I doubt this matters physically, but mentally it helped and didn't hurt my rate of loss.

    You want to feel strong and energetic and be able to exercise, so I wouldn't cut too low. Hard to judge based on the first few weeks, but if you keep losing at more than 2-3 lb/week I'd definitely try to eat more.

    Thank you very much for your encouraging words and advice!
  • I, personally, can not handle cheat days because I am too early in my journey and have not gained the willpower yet, haha! I incorporate small treats into my meals every day! I find that is easier, and I don't feel deprived. :)
  • ndj1979 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    So what's wrong with shakeology? Is herbalife any better? Or advocare? Why do you guys dislike these protein, vitamin enriched, easy to make shakes?

    because they are over priced garbage and have nothing to do with nutrition and health.

    you can drink a protein shake a multivitamin and get the same benefit for a lot less money.

    Additionally, you really should eat REAL food, as opposed to doing meal replacement shakes.

    I do eat real food. Lol. I just like how fast and easy it is to whip a shake up in the morning before I go to work. I eat chicken, fish, vegetables, fruit, cheese, etc. for the remainder of the day. And plenty of water. What other protein shakes are available? What would you recommend? I was given this bag of shakeology, so I wasn't out any money for trying it. I did advocare years ago and got tired of it. I actually think the shakeology taste pretty good and doesn't leave that after that's you get from other meal replacement shakes.

    go to Walmart or similar store and get gold standard whey ….it should be like 20.00 for a pretty large container..

    I only drink protein shakes when i need more protein or am in a rush and don't have time to make something…

    Ok. I will check it out for sure! I leave my house by 6:40 every morning, so I like quick and easy for breakfast. Like I said, I got an entire 30 day bag for nothing. But I will definitely check out your recommendation! Thanks!

    How quick & easy does breakfast need to be for you? There's a lot of recipes you could try cooking on the weekend and refrigerating or freezing the rest of the week. Plus there's always things like steel cut/overnight oats.

    One of my new favorite breakfasts is an english muffin, 2 oz of sliced cheese, and a portion of the "egg muffins" I like to make. The egg muffins get frozen and I just take out 1 the night before and leave it in the fridge to thaw. I'll toast the english muffin, put the egg muffin & cheese in between the 2 halves, and pop it in the microwave for 15 seconds on high. It's super yummy!

    Of course, that's only worth doing if you like such things.

    Food for thought :)

    ~Lyssa
  • I, personally, can not handle cheat days because I am too early in my journey and have not gained the willpower yet, haha! I incorporate small treats into my meals every day! I find that is easier, and I don't feel deprived. :)

    I definitely feel the same way. I don't think I can afford to cheat or really treat myself just yet. But I have discovered when I have a sweet tooth craving to just have a few grapes or a couple strawberries. That normally helps and I like fruit so it works for me! Thanks for your input!
  • to be honest, when i first started my journey again, i did zero cheats for 6 months because i knew that i needed to learn the discipline. also, i felt awful whenever i did and the guilt wasn't worth it. after those 6 months, i just never felt the craving anymore so those 6 months turned into 2 years...then i allowed myself 1 cheat a year and that's my favorite birthday dessert on my birthday. to be honest, if you don't want to have cheat meals, dont. if you know you have trouble not going overboard, then don't risk it. the food we eat are CHOICES we make and each comes with a consequence -- good or bad. good food choices make us feel proud and happy; bad choices make us feel guilty and awful. if feeling awesome is an option, why would you choose to feel bad?? that's the way i see food.
  • kpodaru wrote: »
    to be honest, when i first started my journey again, i did zero cheats for 6 months because i knew that i needed to learn the discipline. also, i felt awful whenever i did and the guilt wasn't worth it. after those 6 months, i just never felt the craving anymore so those 6 months turned into 2 years...then i allowed myself 1 cheat a year and that's my favorite birthday dessert on my birthday. to be honest, if you don't want to have cheat meals, dont. if you know you have trouble not going overboard, then don't risk it. the food we eat are CHOICES we make and each comes with a consequence -- good or bad. good food choices make us feel proud and happy; bad choices make us feel guilty and awful. if feeling awesome is an option, why would you choose to feel bad?? that's the way i see food.

    I haven't wanted to "cheat" but was told it might help reset my system. I don't really know if it does or even what that means. I've had two cheat meals in the last 3 weeks. And really no desire for more. I'm just going to try to keep going with what I'm doing and I know eventually I will see more results! I agree with you completely about feeling awesome over bad. I definitely have more energy since this journey began. And it's only the beginning :)
  • http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=1753

    I personally try to stay away from the "I was so good today..." or "I was so bad today..." when talking about food. Either I overate or I didn't regardless of the what I put in my mouth. I feel better physically when I eat healthier food but sometimes I feel better emotionally with some comfort food. I've also gotten away trying to exercise away a bad or gluttonous diet regimen. Used to be able to do it when I was younger but in my mid-40's, that doesn't work anymore. And I teach 6 classes a week at the gym!

    I eat to my TDEE - a deficit when trying to lean out. If it fits in that range, I try not to call it "cheating".

    I do realize for some people they need to cut out trigger goods all together but I'm one of those people that can just have 1 or 2 cookies or a small serving of ice cream and let it go so I'm lucky that way. Recognizing what makes up a portion is also key!

  • I haven't wanted to "cheat" but was told it might help reset my system. I don't really know if it does or even what that means. I've had two cheat meals in the last 3 weeks. And really no desire for more. I'm just going to try to keep going with what I'm doing and I know eventually I will see more results! I agree with you completely about feeling awesome over bad. I definitely have more energy since this journey began. And it's only the beginning :)

    i have never heard that a cheat meal will "reset" your system <--that sounds like something a chronic cheat-meal eater would say haha! :)
    some people do intermittent fasting to "reset" their system but i never knew how one could not eat for hours without passing out but i do what i know works: i switch up my workouts every 4-6wks. i was lifting for a long time and that sort of let me hit a plateau, then i started muay thai and that totally reshaped my body in ways i never imagined. now i lift, do muay thai, hike and i will be starting cycling soon as soon as i get my bike helmet.
  • I think there's a difference between having a day where you go hog wild and a day/s where you eat at maintenance, but that's just my thinking. In doing some recent reading on the National Weight Control Registry site for long term weight loss maintainers, one of the the abstracts there was on a study tracking behaviors for holidays and things like cheating.

    Successful maintainers for the most part are consistent in their caloric intake.

    While it's important for the weight loss process to have refeeds to avoid adaptive thermogenesis, how far you go with "cheating" is... well? That's the question.

    It's not personally my business, nor am I going to judge anyone for doing this differently than I do. For me, I'm just going to stick to the idea of doing refeeds at maintenance.

    Saying that? I still haven't done one yet. I have something like that planned for vacation coming up in about 6 weeks, though.
  • Unknown
    edited May 2015
    I think there's a difference between having a day where you go hog wild and a day/s where you eat at maintenance, but that's just my thinking. In doing some recent reading on the National Weight Control Registry site for long term weight loss maintainers, one of the the abstracts there was on a study tracking behaviors for holidays and things like cheating.

    This is how I feel too. Barring a rare special day like Thanksgiving (and I don't really like stuffing myself even then), my idea of a high day is doing maintenance or a day that can be easily fit into a week at maintenance (since I have been doing a diet break and maintaining). That's how my high days were when I was on low calories--maintenance or below. It gave me more flexibility, but didn't play into a desire to just go nuts.

    I REALLY think that if you have binging issues (or even generally, since I don't) that both "go crazy" days and guilt/shame cycles should be avoided. What I mean by this is not seeing one day as a time to release from all the restrictions--if you felt that restricted it's something to think about. And, just as important and something that's worrying me a little with some of the more recent posts, NOT reacting to food with guilt or shame or "bad me," since that tends to lead to cycles of self hate and overeating and the like. Really I think trying to see it as just a goal and what you eat as either better or worse in meeting that goal, more logically and less about worth as a person, is better for people and actually helps more with control in the long run than beating yourself up can. Plus, why treat yourself in a way you wouldn't treat others.
  • I think there's a difference between having a day where you go hog wild and a day/s where you eat at maintenance, but that's just my thinking. In doing some recent reading on the National Weight Control Registry site for long term weight loss maintainers, one of the the abstracts there was on a study tracking behaviors for holidays and things like cheating.

    Successful maintainers for the most part are consistent in their caloric intake.

    While it's important for the weight loss process to have refeeds to avoid adaptive thermogenesis, how far you go with "cheating" is... well? That's the question.

    It's not personally my business, nor am I going to judge anyone for doing this differently than I do. For me, I'm just going to stick to the idea of doing refeeds at maintenance.

    Saying that? I still haven't done one yet. I have something like that planned for vacation coming up in about 6 weeks, though.

    considering OP is already under eating …she could probably benefit from eating more calorie dense foods….

    but yes, I agree that consistency is key.
  • kpodaru wrote: »
    to be honest, when i first started my journey again, i did zero cheats for 6 months because i knew that i needed to learn the discipline. also, i felt awful whenever i did and the guilt wasn't worth it. after those 6 months, i just never felt the craving anymore so those 6 months turned into 2 years...then i allowed myself 1 cheat a year and that's my favorite birthday dessert on my birthday. to be honest, if you don't want to have cheat meals, dont. if you know you have trouble not going overboard, then don't risk it. the food we eat are CHOICES we make and each comes with a consequence -- good or bad. good food choices make us feel proud and happy; bad choices make us feel guilty and awful. if feeling awesome is an option, why would you choose to feel bad?? that's the way i see food.

    I haven't wanted to "cheat" but was told it might help reset my system. I don't really know if it does or even what that means. I've had two cheat meals in the last 3 weeks. And really no desire for more. I'm just going to try to keep going with what I'm doing and I know eventually I will see more results! I agree with you completely about feeling awesome over bad. I definitely have more energy since this journey began. And it's only the beginning :)

    what they are saying is that if you have been chronically underrating and have plataeued due to adaptive thermogensis that you should eat at maintenance for a month to get your metabolism back to normal ….

    OR

    if you have been dieting for say six months straight with no day of eating at, or above matinee, that you should do a reefed day to help avoid getting into a situation where you stall out….

    the longer you diet, your metabolism adapts to it and starts to slow down; however, this tends to take some time...
  • ndj1979 wrote: »
    I think there's a difference between having a day where you go hog wild and a day/s where you eat at maintenance, but that's just my thinking. In doing some recent reading on the National Weight Control Registry site for long term weight loss maintainers, one of the the abstracts there was on a study tracking behaviors for holidays and things like cheating.

    Successful maintainers for the most part are consistent in their caloric intake.

    While it's important for the weight loss process to have refeeds to avoid adaptive thermogenesis, how far you go with "cheating" is... well? That's the question.

    It's not personally my business, nor am I going to judge anyone for doing this differently than I do. For me, I'm just going to stick to the idea of doing refeeds at maintenance.

    Saying that? I still haven't done one yet. I have something like that planned for vacation coming up in about 6 weeks, though.

    considering OP is already under eating …she could probably benefit from eating more calorie dense foods….

    but yes, I agree that consistency is key.

    Yeah, I sort of lost sight of the OP there. She should be eating more on the regular.

  • OP - have you upped your calories to what MFP is giving you yet???? I believe that number was 1900???
  • I started at 292, and I've lost 110 lbs. In June, it'll be 2 years that I've been at this. During this time, I've learned slow and steady weight loss is the way to go. I have a better attitude towards food and portion control. I actually do like some protein shakes and bars- like I wouldn't mind eating or drinking them for the long-haul.

    1) Start eating at least 1200 calories, you need to be able to sustain this for the long haul, not crash diet
    2) No food is good or bad, if you want that piece of chocolate, fit it in your daily goal (you can't just eat the whole bag)

    The weight you've lost is mostly water and possibly muscle. You don't want to lose weight the extreme way. It's not good for your body. If vanity motivates you, losing it that fast will leave lots of excess skin. Losing slow will help with excess skin. If health motivates you, eating at least 1200 a day + some exercise calories will give you more energy and not leave you feeling down.

    In the beginning I lost 8-9 lbs a month and for awhile I was able to do a 1200 calorie diet and exercise. As the months wore on, I started feeling run-down and tired. I changed my goal to 1.5 loss and started eating more. I felt loads better, I had more energy, and could push harder with workouts. As you get smaller, you'll need to reevaluate your goals. I'm at 0.5-1 lb loss (whichever I feel like doing) a week now. My loss is slower, but I feel good.

    Weight loss is not linear, some weeks you won't see a loss, you might feel your clothes become more loose. My cheat days are more like events/holidays. So if someone is having a birthday, I pay attention, but I'm not as strict.

    I second a couple other posters. Buy a food scale, weigh your food. Your relationship with food needs to change, the perspective is not healthy. I started to look at a piece of chocolate and think- geez I can eat that tiny bit of food for 100 calories or I can have an egg with a sprinkling of cheese/salsa. Which one will make me feel satiated?
  • ndj1979 wrote: »
    Thank you all very much for all your input! I have a lot of weight to lose and do not want to do it the wrong way. Like I said, I eat when I'm hungry. I guess the excitement of losing so much got to me. I will definitely aim for my target calorie intake. I just need to be patient with my body. Like some of you have said, I didn't gain it all in one night, I won't lose it that way either. Thanks again!

    OP - here are my thoughts if you want to do it the right way:

    1. get a food scale and weigh all solids
    2. eat to the number that mfp gives you. So in your case make sure you net 1900
    3. ditch the shakeology and have real food for breakfast.
    4. realize that no food is "bad" and it is OK to incorporate bread, pasta, ice cream, etc, into your daily diet
    5. make sure that you are eating nutrient dense foods like chicken, vegetables, fish, rice, fruit, etc.
    6. this is not necessary, but I would suggest finding a form of exercise that you enjoy - walking, strength training, etc, and do something where you are moving around
    7. repeat until you get desired results


    good luck

    I find 3. and 4. to be in conflict with one another. If OP's down with the free shakes, power to her. I meal replace with protein shakes several times a week, totally sustainable (and tasty, I look forward to them). I don't know what the Shakeology are like, but if there are no bad foods and OP likes them, shake on...

    I subscribe to the overall message of this post though.