Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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These last few days of being sad have been pretty revealing about my unhealthy relationship with food... I just want to eat until I don't feel anything but full. The lifelong habit of medicating with food is lurking around me. I didn't log the last couple of days, and I know I probably ate over maintenance, but I'm happy that I managed to avoid sitting on the couch and eating bags (plural...) of chips and cookies.
Back on track today. Even if everything else is haywire, I am going to be kind to myself and not eat until I feel sick.0 -
Rather than quote everyone I'd need to:
Congratulations to all that deserve it!
Good vibes to all those who need them!
I head back to the east coast today!0 -
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I would not say that my parents are uncaring...they would never make rude or hateful comments to me. But, I did learn a lot on how not to be a parent from them. I had my tonsils removed when I was six. My mom drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, stayed while they admitted me, did bloodwork, etc...then went home. She came and picked me up three days later. I do not remember a single time in my life where I was as scared as I was, waking up from that surgery and not knowing anyone.0 -
I admit I shake my head sometimes when I see the Mother's Day ads out there.
Some Facebook page I follow linked to 'great deals on aprons, fantastic mother's day gift!', and now I just went to my fitbit page by accident and the top said 'this mother's day, pick a fitbit gift that will move her'. Because nothing says 'I love you but you're fat' as much as a fitness device as a present.
Gosh.
My confession is that I finally weighed myself after almost 2 months... and it looks like even though I kept a fantastic deficit one of those months, my PMS week of Hell undid all my work and I've pretty much maintained. Makes me very sad. I don't think I'll ever reach my goal.
When I worked at Wal-Mart, the first Valentine's day it was open, the sporting good manager had these Valentine's signs and deals on all the exercise equipment....I told him each piece should come with the business card of a divorce lawyer.....0 -
Jesusjohnjames wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Jesusjohnjames wrote: »I over eat & then run to the gym and Burn off 1400 calories. I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No judgment, but I seriously doubt you are burning off 1400 calories unless you're doing a half-marathon on the treadmill or something. Gym machines, elliptical, treadmills, etc, are notoriously high on their "calories burned' that they show. I don't use their numbers, cuz there is no way I burned 700 calories on the elliptical for 40 minutes.
Actually mine is accurate, because I am losing weight. It takes about 90 minutes to burn 1400 cal's. I work out REALLY Hard. So Yes my cal's are accurate.
What device are you using to track your burns?0 -
ladybuggnorris wrote: »
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I would not say that my parents are uncaring...they would never make rude or hateful comments to me. But, I did learn a lot on how not to be a parent from them. I had my tonsils removed when I was six. My mom drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, stayed while they admitted me, did bloodwork, etc...then went home. She came and picked me up three days later. I do not remember a single time in my life where I was as scared as I was, waking up from that surgery and not knowing anyone.
That's worse... and I'd call that "uncaring"... or, at the very least, unempathetic. At least I was a bit older and had some comprehension of what was going on (I was still scared, though)... you were SIX!
I hope the nurses were really, really nice to make up for the lack of maternal involvement.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I admit I shake my head sometimes when I see the Mother's Day ads out there.
Some Facebook page I follow linked to 'great deals on aprons, fantastic mother's day gift!', and now I just went to my fitbit page by accident and the top said 'this mother's day, pick a fitbit gift that will move her'. Because nothing says 'I love you but you're fat' as much as a fitness device as a present.
Gosh.
My confession is that I finally weighed myself after almost 2 months... and it looks like even though I kept a fantastic deficit one of those months, my PMS week of Hell undid all my work and I've pretty much maintained. Makes me very sad. I don't think I'll ever reach my goal.
When I worked at Wal-Mart, the first Valentine's day it was open, the sporting good manager had these Valentine's signs and deals on all the exercise equipment....I told him each piece should come with the business card of a divorce lawyer.....
My hubby bought me an elliptical machine for Christmas one year. Love it! (Of course, I had been asking for one.)0 -
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I can relate to that because my mother did that to me! I was about 13 and was vomiting all day and in a lot of pain. A friend had slept over the night before, and by morning when she was leaving I headed over to the ER. My mother checked me in, and then left. I spent hours and hours in an ER room, puking my brains out and passing out over and over. The surgeon said I needed my appendix out, but they could not find my parents to sign the surgery consent. This was the mid 80's so before cell phones etc. My friend that had slept over stopped in with her mom that evening because they had been calling the house and could not get anyone so they came to the ER to see if I was still there. I vaguely remember seeing them between passing out. My friend's mother lost her mind when she realized I was there alone and that they hospital could not find my parents. She actually went out and hunted them down on her own. They were out at a restaurant having dinner. My father had come home from work, and my mother did not even tell him I was at the hospital or anything. I remember the DR reaming her out, and her excuse was that she was diabetic and needed dinner. REALLY? Grab a sandwich, wtf. Not only that, but she was gone for hours and hours before that.
Because they had to wait so long, my appendix burst while they were taking it out, I ended up in hospital for three weeks with a nasty infection and my scar is HUGE! My mother was a complete asshat. That is one of the lesser things she did to me......0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I can relate to that because my mother did that to me! I was about 13 and was vomiting all day and in a lot of pain. A friend had slept over the night before, and by morning when she was leaving I headed over to the ER. My mother checked me in, and then left. I spent hours and hours in an ER room, puking my brains out and passing out over and over. The surgeon said I needed my appendix out, but they could not find my parents to sign the surgery consent. This was the mid 80's so before cell phones etc. My friend that had slept over stopped in with her mom that evening because they had been calling the house and could not get anyone so they came to the ER to see if I was still there. I vaguely remember seeing them between passing out. My friend's mother lost her mind when she realized I was there alone and that they hospital could not find my parents. She actually went out and hunted them down on her own. They were out at a restaurant having dinner. My father had come home from work, and my mother did not even tell him I was at the hospital or anything. I remember the DR reaming her out, and her excuse was that she was diabetic and needed dinner. REALLY? Grab a sandwich, wtf. Not only that, but she was gone for hours and hours before that.
Because they had to wait so long, my appendix burst while they were taking it out, I ended up in hospital for three weeks with a nasty infection and my scar is HUGE! My mother was a complete asshat. That is one of the lesser things she did to me......
Reading all of these stories about crappy parents puts me in a RAAAAAAGE! Uuugh that sucks so bad. I'm sorry.0 -
All these posts about bad parenting make me want to go home and hug my parents.0
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kellienw335 wrote: »
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I. Am. Speechless. That is terrible, and I can't imagine a parent doing that. So sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you! By that age at least I realized their behaviour was abnormal. I remember lying to my friends about my reason for not telling my parents, saying "Oh, I can't, my dad would kill the guy!" because I had some inkling that the average father would be very protective of his daughter. The real reason was I didn't want to hear him accuse me of making it up because no man would ever want to touch me, which would have been more likely.
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
That's terrible! You seem remarkably well put together for someone who has had to deal with such awful things.
That's an incredibly sweet thing to say.
Probably the worst effect was coming out of that with an extremely skewed view of what love and caring was (and what I deserved), and picking romantic partners who didn't treat me very well. Now I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon and that program helped me when nothing else worked.
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All these posts about bad parenting make me want to go home and hug my parents.
It makes me want to hug @ladybuggnorris and @Italian_Buju !0 -
ladybuggnorris wrote: »
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I would not say that my parents are uncaring...they would never make rude or hateful comments to me. But, I did learn a lot on how not to be a parent from them. I had my tonsils removed when I was six. My mom drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, stayed while they admitted me, did bloodwork, etc...then went home. She came and picked me up three days later. I do not remember a single time in my life where I was as scared as I was, waking up from that surgery and not knowing anyone.
I am sorry you experienced that.
I sadly have experienced this also. I was very sick as a child and spent a LOT of time in hospital. I had a kidney removed, and was in for a long time, I was very young, I barely remember anything, I was maybe 3, but I do remember that I was ALWAYS alone and scared.
When my son was three, he was in the hospital twice one winter with pneumonia, and both times I literally never left his side. I even had the nurses on the ward track me down a bottle of insulin when I ran out. I slept in the hospital bed with him, and did not even go to work or anything. I did not want him to be there alone because of how often that happened to me.
On kind of a funny note, but it also tells how often I was in hospital as a kid, some of the senior nurses on the pediatric ward remembered me when my son was there. I was sleeping in the bed with him one night and all of a sudden felt something in my ear. The nurse had come in for middle of the night temperature and did mine instead of his! She forgot I was not the patient, we laughed about that for literally days!0 -
All these posts about bad parenting make me want to go home and hug my parents.
It makes me want to hug @ladybuggnorris and @Italian_Buju ! 0 -
These last few days of being sad have been pretty revealing about my unhealthy relationship with food... I just want to eat until I don't feel anything but full. The lifelong habit of medicating with food is lurking around me. I didn't log the last couple of days, and I know I probably ate over maintenance, but I'm happy that I managed to avoid sitting on the couch and eating bags (plural...) of chips and cookies.
Back on track today. Even if everything else is haywire, I am going to be kind to myself and not eat until I feel sick.
This is something I am currently going through myself. My MIL is very ill and it looks like they may not be able to do anything for her. I am close to her as I lost my own mom when I was 26. So I am somewhat self medicating with food and trying to stop myself from doing that at the same time. I didn't log at all yesterday, but I am trying to do better today and deal with the emotions another.0 -
All these posts about bad parenting make me want to go home and hug my parents.
It makes me want to hug @ladybuggnorris and @Italian_Buju !
Them too!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »
That's horrible! But I can totally relate.Italian_Buju wrote: »Yeah, that is a nasty illness. Way earlier in the thread we were talking about serial killers and I said I knew a girl that was attacked by the local one we had. It was a savage attack and she was in the hospital for weeks and weeks, and neither of her parents visited her even once, because they were both just drunk all the time.....to make matters worse, her mother was a nasty drunk and when she was finally able to go home, her mother would get drunk and yell nasty stuff at her about hoping she caught AIDS from the rape and stuff. It was pretty tragic.....
Had something similar happen (to a much lesser degree!) when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery... as in, saw the doctor at 4 PM and surgery booked for 11 PM that night... my parents brought me to the hospital, provided the insurance info, and left. They told the nurse to call and let them know how my surgery turned out. Their excuse was "We have to get up for work in the morning" but it was really all about not missing any drinking that evening.
I was sexually assaulted by an older male coworker when I was 17 and didn't tell my parents, for fear of hearing negative and unsupportive comments.
I can relate to that because my mother did that to me! I was about 13 and was vomiting all day and in a lot of pain. A friend had slept over the night before, and by morning when she was leaving I headed over to the ER. My mother checked me in, and then left. I spent hours and hours in an ER room, puking my brains out and passing out over and over. The surgeon said I needed my appendix out, but they could not find my parents to sign the surgery consent. This was the mid 80's so before cell phones etc. My friend that had slept over stopped in with her mom that evening because they had been calling the house and could not get anyone so they came to the ER to see if I was still there. I vaguely remember seeing them between passing out. My friend's mother lost her mind when she realized I was there alone and that they hospital could not find my parents. She actually went out and hunted them down on her own. They were out at a restaurant having dinner. My father had come home from work, and my mother did not even tell him I was at the hospital or anything. I remember the DR reaming her out, and her excuse was that she was diabetic and needed dinner. REALLY? Grab a sandwich, wtf. Not only that, but she was gone for hours and hours before that.
Because they had to wait so long, my appendix burst while they were taking it out, I ended up in hospital for three weeks with a nasty infection and my scar is HUGE! My mother was a complete asshat. That is one of the lesser things she did to me......
This makes me sad beyond belief. I am the first to say that being a parent is the hardest job there is, but I cannot believe the terrible things you and so many others have endured.
I still beat myself up regularly for all the ways I feel like I've failed my children. Whenever they have an issue or a problem I immediately think about what I could've done differently or should have not done or said, but they DO know I love them and I'm their biggest fan in spite of my faults and shortcomings. I cannot comprehend the way some parents treat their own children. That's where my ranting about "don't have kids unless you really want to!" comes to play. Some people are not meant to be parents, but they don't think it out ahead of time.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I'm nowhere near my goal weight, but I am officially in maintenance now. The eagle-eyed among you will know why (I posted about my motivation many pages back). I'm on cloud 9.
I'm taking a guess here, but I think congratulations are in order? and no more alcohol? or... nuts? or egg whites. I trying to think of others but having not been there, I don't know. YAY!
Oh, I totally had the hint fly over my head and I even recall the earlier post now that it's made obvious.
Great news!
I'm not figuring it out yet, unfortunately. Any other clues anyone can give? Or approx. what page the previous post was on? I've read the whole thread, but sometimes my retention is lacking due to multitasking.
No problem. I daren't write it out in case that somehow 'jinxes' things. Ridiculous I know. I'll be more relaxed in a few weeks' time I'm sure.
AHHHH I just had the light bulb go on over my head-- CONGRATS!!! EEEE that's so exciting!0 -
This morning I was up a pound for some strange reason. It depressed me and instead of dealing with it properly, I had a donut. Now I feel even worse
Pattie74, it will hopefully help you feel better if/when/after you take a look at the following thread (and especially the OP's charts and associated comments regarding 'stalls' and 'spikes') --
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10152741/i-hit-goal-today-after-27-months
I cannot help considering the OP's posts in that thread among the most important I've seen on MFP...
Note that among the OP's comments = "Those spikes are why I am a huge fan of daily weighing and learning about the fluctuations rather than letting them upset you."
I don't weigh daily (or, at times, intradaily) for the purpose of 'recording' -- I do so for the purpose of taking a quick 'snapshot' (mentally), and forcing myself to see the fluctuations... and noticing how widely they can vary, on any given day (and they do so for any of several possible reasons (the most plausible of which can make a 'fleeting' appearance in my mind, before I simply 'get back to my day'))... and as the aforementioned OP shows, via charts, and especially when highlighting a specific 'what if' (in terms of what one could errantly conclude, if one happened to record weight on days that represented 'spikes'), I don't take any particular 'up' or 'down' as being some sort of new 'set point' -- weight can and does fluctuate daily (and 'intradaily'), and for several reasons...
...weight is dynamic, not static...
...what I mentally 'take note of', over time, is the approximate 'midpoint' of those fluctuating 'ups' and 'downs' -- i.e. what number my weight fluctuates up and down 'around'... *that* number, and as it changes over time, is what I grant "it" status to (so to speak)...0
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